I’m terribly upset. The headline of the news is distressing: ‘A man in live-in relationship kills his spouse… cuts her into pieces… cooks the body parts in cooker… feeds them to dogs!’
The most recent incident took place at Mira Bhayandar, a suburb near Mumbai. Manoj Sane, who lived with one Saraswati Vaidya, chopped her into pieces. You may recall a horrible incident in May of last year when a young man named Aftab Poonawala had killed 27-year-old Shraddha Walkar, who was in a live-in relationship with him in Delhi, cut her body into pieces and threw them in the jungle. These are just a few examples that made national headlines! Such atrocities are no longer an exception.
The latest killing near Mumbai has shaken everyone to the core. The question is how someone can be so cruel as to chop into pieces the very person who has come to live with him by surrendering to his love and trusting him! And Saraswati was an orphan too. Think about the savage mentality of the person who cuts his girlfriend into small pieces after murdering her, and throws the pieces into the jungle! The woman would not have imagined in her wildest dream that pieces of her body would be cooked in the same cooker in which they cooked food every day. Just thinking about it sends shivers down the spine!
I’m not convinced that persons like Manoj or Aftab Poonawala cared about the woman who lived with them. No loving man ever cuts his girlfriend into pieces! Their real motive is something else; it is the desire for sex and to satisfy the lust. I’ve travelled extensively throughout the country and the world. I have tried to learn about and comprehend their culture.
The definition of a live-in relationship in foreign countries is different. As soon as they reach adulthood, children there start living separately from their parents. The definition of a live-in relationship there is that they stay together to understand each other. If they are able to understand each other properly, they marry or else they part ways mutually with no strings attached. But the purpose of live-in relationships here is not the same.
In our country, the main objective is to satisfy the lust and indulge in savagery in the guise of love. Several film heroines in our country have been in such relationships too. Some of them managed to come out of it but many suffered a lot of mental agony. The truth is, some people do have accepted the Western live-in relationship but have failed to follow the spirit that comes with it.
I am perhaps more disturbed because all of this is taking place in India, where love and affection have long been the foundation of civilisation. Life partners are said to be complementary to one another. Both are regarded as incomplete without the other. This is not only accepted, but is also universally accepted in our society and culture.
I’d like to state unequivocally that I am not opposed to love. I am absolutely clear that those who love each other should have the right to enjoy life together but with dignity. The partnership in the live-in relationship that has thrived in our country is more focussed on the body than on the beautiful idea of living together.
That is why it is more dangerous. Aftab Poonawala murdered Shraddha Walkar because she wanted to marry him! As for Poonawala, he was solely interested in Shraddha’s body! This is a situation involving a live-in relationship. I’d like to talk about something else. We haven’t forgotten about the Aarushi murder case. Who murdered a young girl? In any case, daily news reports that a husband murdered his wife, a wife murdered her husband along with a lover, a son murdered his father for property, or killed his mother. Or, a brother killed his sister. But what causes this cruelty in relationships? A 20-year-old man killed a minor girl with a knife in the country’s capital, Delhi, last week. The cruelty was so extreme that he even crushed her head with stones. In another incident, a 22-year-old youngster, Ankit, shot a 20-year-old girl. These murderers were all ‘lovers’! Can they both be called lovers? No, it is not love! It is lust that desires the girl’s body. It is critical to save our children from this desire for body. I believe it should begin at home. Every mother should teach her son that a woman is more than simply a body. She also has a mind and heart like a man. A woman is gentle. Dedication is her natural instinct. I really like Kavita Bhatt’s poem about a woman’s feelings:
Aajivan piya ko samarthan likhungi,
Prem ko apna samarpan likhungi.
Pranay nivedan uska tha wo hamara,
Na mukhar vaasna thi, bus prem pyara.
Usme apni shraddha ka kan-kan likhungi,
Prem ko apna samarpan likhungi.
A woman is so dedicated that she often fails to recognise the savagery masked as love. It is our collective responsibility to put an end to this bestiality. It is the responsibility of the law and the society too!
The author is the chairman, Editorial Board of Lokmat Media and former member of Rajya Sabha.
