Who is more powerful – problems or me? We are the ones who create problems and we have the ability to solve them. First, we have to understand what problems are. They are nothing but the creation of a weak mind. When the mind becomes weak and we start thinking too much, problems arise and begin to multiply. The remedy is to strengthen the mind. Problems are increasing all around us. The common reasons are ego, overthinking, and the attitude of ‘I am right’. When two persons quarrel and both are convinced that they are right, the conflict will not end until one of them sees the wisdom in compromising and has the strength to do so. If both lack that strength, the feud persists lifelong. I have seen educated and well-qualified young men, some of them having engineering degrees, who were depressed. On enquiry, they told me that they had never known love in their life.
Since childhood they had seen their parents quarreling daily. They were always irritated and never showed their children any love. Their weaknesses eventually harmed their children. If there is no peace, love, and happiness in a family, obviously there will be negative vibrations, and they will certainly do harm.
To have a peaceful and happy atmosphere at home, we need to be more tolerant, patient, and peaceable. These qualities can be developed by regular practice of Rajyoga meditation. Rajyoga requires neither a particular physical posture nor breath control. It simply involves raising the quality of our thoughts about the self and remembering God, the Father. When we recognise and accept the fact that we are children of God and remember Him with that filial bonding, the powers and virtues of the Almighty, the ocean of love, begin to flow into us. The experience of God’s love, the quiet mental repose to be found in His remembrance, gradually cleanse and heal the soul, washing away its pain, fear, and sorrow. The mind becomes more relaxed and receptive to positive ideas. Consequently, the experience of happiness begins to increase.
A relaxed and easy nature is essential for a happy life. The easier our attitude and approach, the fewer will be our thoughts, and as a result any problems will be resolved easily. On the other hand, overthinking or convoluted thinking makes a mountain out of a molehill, magnifying our problems. In other words, a weak mind creates problems while a powerful mind overcomes them. Take this example: Suppose someone insults you. If you brush it off the matter ends there, but if you react furiously, things can escalate and even precipitate legal consequences. How you respond makes all the difference.
Apart from making the mind calm and strong, we need to accept things that we cannot control or change. When we learn to do this, we are able to adjust to them and get along with our life without worrying too much.
It also helps to develop the habit of thinking less about problems and more about the solutions. When faced with a difficulty, most people tend to think more about it and less about how it can be resolved. However big or strong a lock, there is always a key to it. If we find one door closed before us, others would be open. Often in life we find our path blocked only to guide us to a better way.
Lastly, we need to understand the law of karma. As we sow, so we reap. All our experiences in life are the result of our actions, including what the soul has done in previous lives. The past cannot be changed, but its consequences can be mitigated and a better future created by improving the quality of our thoughts and deeds in the present. If we plant roses, our future will be rosy.
B.K. Surya is a Rajyoga teacher at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan.