{"id":2664,"date":"2020-03-05T11:55:25","date_gmt":"2020-03-05T11:55:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/gator4138.temp.domains\/~seocloud\/website_bd55b9c6\/?p=2664"},"modified":"2020-12-17T09:52:32","modified_gmt":"2020-12-17T09:52:32","slug":"how-to-stop-saying-sorry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Saying Sorry! How To Stop Being Overly Apologetic In 5 Steps"},"content":{"rendered":"<style>img#mv-trellis-img-1::before{padding-top:56.190476190476%; }img#mv-trellis-img-1{display:block;}img#mv-trellis-img-2::before{padding-top:56.190476190476%; }img#mv-trellis-img-2{display:block;}<\/style><p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><em>Sorry!<\/em> Five simple letters that for many of us comprise a large amount of our spoken vocabulary. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Whether it's for saying no, crying, or even just making a reasonable request of someone, many of us can apologize far too much! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">But how do you stop saying sorry and how do you change the <em>apologetic habit of a lifetime<\/em>? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">I'm <em>sorry<\/em> to tell you that I've made it my mission to find out more in this article, and challenge you to change your perceptions and attitudes towards saying sorry.<\/span><\/p>\n<div id=\"ez-toc-container\" class=\"ez-toc-v2_0_64 counter-hierarchy ez-toc-counter ez-toc-grey ez-toc-container-direction\">\n<div class=\"ez-toc-title-container\">\n<p class=\"ez-toc-title \">Table of Contents<\/p>\n<span class=\"ez-toc-title-toggle\"><a href=\"#\" class=\"ez-toc-pull-right ez-toc-btn ez-toc-btn-xs ez-toc-btn-default ez-toc-toggle\" aria-label=\"Toggle Table of Content\"><span class=\"ez-toc-js-icon-con\"><span class=\"\"><span class=\"eztoc-hide\" style=\"display:none;\">Toggle<\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-icon-toggle-span\"><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" class=\"list-377408\" width=\"20px\" height=\"20px\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" fill=\"none\"><path d=\"M6 6H4v2h2V6zm14 0H8v2h12V6zM4 11h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2zM4 16h2v2H4v-2zm16 0H8v2h12v-2z\" fill=\"currentColor\"><\/path><\/svg><svg style=\"fill: #999;color:#999\" class=\"arrow-unsorted-368013\" xmlns=\"http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg\" width=\"10px\" height=\"10px\" viewbox=\"0 0 24 24\" version=\"1.2\" baseprofile=\"tiny\"><path d=\"M18.2 9.3l-6.2-6.3-6.2 6.3c-.2.2-.3.4-.3.7s.1.5.3.7c.2.2.4.3.7.3h11c.3 0 .5-.1.7-.3.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7zM5.8 14.7l6.2 6.3 6.2-6.3c.2-.2.3-.5.3-.7s-.1-.5-.3-.7c-.2-.2-.4-.3-.7-.3h-11c-.3 0-.5.1-.7.3-.2.2-.3.5-.3.7s.1.5.3.7z\"><\/path><\/svg><\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a><\/span><\/div>\n<nav><ul class=\"ez-toc-list ez-toc-list-level-1 eztoc-toggle-hide-by-default\"><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-1\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#Why_Do_We_Say_Sorry_So_Much\" title=\"Why Do We Say Sorry So Much?\">Why Do We Say Sorry So Much?<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-2\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#10_Signs_you_Apologize_Too_Much\" title=\"10 Signs you Apologize Too Much\">10 Signs you Apologize Too Much<\/a><ul class=\"ez-toc-list-level-3\"><li class=\"ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-3\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#1_Apologizing_for_Things_Outside_of_Your_Control\" title=\"1. Apologizing for Things Outside of Your Control\">1. Apologizing for Things Outside of Your Control<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-4\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#2_Apologizing_on_Behalf_of_Someone_Else\" title=\"2. Apologizing on Behalf of Someone Else\">2. Apologizing on Behalf of Someone Else<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-5\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#3_Apologizing_in_Normal_Situations\" title=\"3. Apologizing in Normal Situations\">3. Apologizing in Normal Situations<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-6\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#4_Apologizing_When_you_Know_Youre_Not_In_the_Wrong\" title=\"4. Apologizing When you Know You're Not In the Wrong\">4. Apologizing When you Know You're Not In the Wrong<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-7\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#5_Apologizing_When_you_Need_Something\" title=\"5. Apologizing When you Need Something\">5. Apologizing When you Need Something<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-8\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#6_Apologizing_Again_and_Again\" title=\"6. Apologizing Again and Again\">6. Apologizing Again and Again<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-9\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#7_Low_Self-confidence\" title=\"7. Low Self-confidence\">7. Low Self-confidence<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-10\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#8_Feeling_the_Anxious_Need_to_Apologize\" title=\"8. Feeling the Anxious Need to Apologize\">8. Feeling the Anxious Need to Apologize<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-11\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#9_Apologizing_when_Being_Assertive\" title=\"9. Apologizing when Being Assertive\">9. Apologizing when Being Assertive<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-12\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#10_People_tell_you_to_Stop_Apologizing\" title=\"10. People tell you to Stop Apologizing\">10. People tell you to Stop Apologizing<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-13\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#The_Benefits_of_Apologizing\" title=\"The Benefits of Apologizing\">The Benefits of Apologizing<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-14\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#The_Negatives_of_Being_Over_Apologetic\" title=\"The Negatives of Being Over Apologetic\">The Negatives of Being Over Apologetic<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-15\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#How_to_Stop_Saying_Sorry_in_5_Steps\" title=\"How to Stop Saying Sorry in 5 Steps\">How to Stop Saying Sorry in 5 Steps<\/a><ul class=\"ez-toc-list-level-3\"><li class=\"ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-16\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#1_Practice_Self-awareness\" title=\"1. Practice Self-awareness\">1. Practice Self-awareness<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-17\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#2_Learn_When_to_and_When_Not_to_Apologize\" title=\"2. Learn When to and When Not to Apologize\">2. Learn When to and When Not to Apologize<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-18\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#3_Change_up_Your_Script\" title=\"3. Change up Your Script\">3. Change up Your Script<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-19\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#4_Reclaim_your_Assertiveness_and_Say_No\" title=\"4. Reclaim your Assertiveness (and Say No)\">4. Reclaim your Assertiveness (and Say No)<\/a><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-3\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-20\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#5_When_its_Time_to_Apologize\" title=\"5. When it's Time to Apologize\">5. When it's Time to Apologize<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/li><li class=\"ez-toc-page-1 ez-toc-heading-level-2\"><a class=\"ez-toc-link ez-toc-heading-21\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/how-to-stop-saying-sorry\/#Reclaiming_your_Authority\" title=\"Reclaiming your Authority\">Reclaiming your Authority<\/a><\/li><\/ul><\/nav><\/div>\n<h2 class=\"p4\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Why_Do_We_Say_Sorry_So_Much\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\"><strong>Why Do We Say Sorry So Much?<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">There are many different reasons why an individual may be more likely to say sorry than their peers. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Firstly, starting in early childhood, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">how we are raised can impact upon our apologetic nature. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">We model the behavior that we see in our parents and guardians, so if those who raised you over-apologize, then you're far more likely to be overly apologetic yourself.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Children raised in households with a strong social hierarchy can also apologize more. This is because apologizing can be interwoven with politeness and respect. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Saying sorry when no sorry is needed can be a way in which children can demonstrate respect to an elder.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Speaking of being polite, some individuals find themselves frequently apologizing as they have mixed saying sorry into their overall concept of politeness.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Many spiritual people are conflict-averse, it's just part of seeing the world through a deeper lens; small spats and disagreements simply don't matter as much. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">However, this can leave us at risk of becoming overly apologetic as a way to avoid moments of conflict and keep the peace.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">And lastly, sometimes it's just down to your culture. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">I'm from the UK and let me tell you, we apologize for everything, even for apologizing! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Canadians also find themselves in a similar boat, and even had to institute an apology act to avoid the incorrect establishment of guilt in a court of law! <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Americans, on the other hand, are found to apologize far less, saying sorry about 33% less than UK residents.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_Signs_you_Apologize_Too_Much\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\"><strong>10 Signs you Apologize Too Much<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2696 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"840\" height=\"472\" srcset=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1.jpg 840w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-595xh.jpg 595w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-585x329.jpg 585w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 24px), 720px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"eager\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2696 aligncenter eager-load\" src=\"data:image\/svg+xml,%3Csvg%20xmlns='http:\/\/www.w3.org\/2000\/svg'%20viewBox='0%200%20840%20472'%3E%3Crect%20width='840'%20height='472'%20style='fill:%23e3e3e3'\/%3E%3C\/svg%3E\" alt=\"\" width=\"840\" height=\"472\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 24px), 720px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-1\" data-src=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1.jpg.webp\" data-srcset=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1.jpg.webp 840w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-300x169.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-768x432.jpg.webp 768w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-595xh.jpg.webp 595w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Signs-you-say-sorry-too-much-1-585x329.jpg.webp 585w\" data-svg=\"1\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">For people who over-apologize, saying sorry has become an <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">automatic response. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This means that the word is so ingrained in your mind that the brain automatically triggers the mouth to say sorry for a variety of different circumstances. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Ever said sorry and paused a moment to wonder why you said it? Ever accidentally apologized to an inanimate object? <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">If so you probably already have sorry as an automatic response. Let's look at some other signs that you might apologize too often.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Apologizing_for_Things_Outside_of_Your_Control\"><\/span><span style=\"color: #e5be5b;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\">1. Apologizing for Things Outside of Your Control<\/span><\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Sometimes bad things happen outside of our control, from bad weather to having to cancel plans because of car trouble, sometimes life just makes up its own mind for you, and you shouldn't apologize for it. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">So if you've found yourself apologizing to a friend for their bad experience, despite having nothing to do with the cause, or apologized for some other occurrence outside of your control, you may be saying sorry too much.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Apologizing_on_Behalf_of_Someone_Else\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>2. Apologizing on Behalf of Someone Else<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Now there are a few times where it is okay to do this, for example, if you're a representative of a company, but when it comes to friends, family, and colleagues, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">feeling the need to apologize to others for something someone else has done is a clear sign of over-apologizing.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Apologizing_in_Normal_Situations\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>3. Apologizing in Normal Situations<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Now, this one is something that almost all Brits are guilty of, as it's just part of our culture, but people from other countries may find they do this also. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Apologizing for simple day-to-day things such as squeezing by someone at a crowded social gathering, or sneezing in a quiet space just isn't <em>necessary<\/em>!<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Apologizing_When_you_Know_Youre_Not_In_the_Wrong\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>4. Apologizing When you Know You're Not In the Wrong<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Apologizing when you've wronged someone is all well and good, but apologizing for the sake of apologizing or to avoid conflict even though you know you're right only discredits you and chips away at your self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_Apologizing_When_you_Need_Something\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>5. Apologizing When you Need Something<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">A clear <a class=\"\" href=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/sorry-syndrome\/\" data-lasso-id=\"798\">sign you over-apologize<\/a> is when you say sorry when asking someone for something. <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">While saying sorry when asking for something big or inconvenient may be suitable, apologizing for asking a colleague to do something which is part of their job description, for example sending information over email is not.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"6_Apologizing_Again_and_Again\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>6. Apologizing Again and Again<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Sometimes you might find it hard to stop apologizing. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">You may feel guilty for something or bad that you've inconvenienced someone, and feel the need to apologize rise several times throughout your encounter.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"7_Low_Self-confidence\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>7. Low Self-confidence<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">People who lack <em>confidence<\/em>, <em>self-worth<\/em>, or <em>self-esteem<\/em> tend to be more likely to apologize excessively. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">If you feel that you're forever doing things wrong, or aren't good enough for the people around you then you may be struggling in this way.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"8_Feeling_the_Anxious_Need_to_Apologize\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>8. Feeling the Anxious Need to Apologize<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">If you've struggled with anxiety in the past, and notice you most commonly apologize when you're feeling anxious, then you may be using excessive apologies as a coping mechanism.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"9_Apologizing_when_Being_Assertive\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>9. Apologizing when Being Assertive<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The more laid back among us can often feel like they may be being rude or aggressive when they're being assertive. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This can lead to over-apologizing and reduces the authority or assertiveness that was required for a particular situation.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"10_People_tell_you_to_Stop_Apologizing\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt; color: #e5be5b;\"><strong>10. People tell you to Stop Apologizing<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">When we can't identify a problem ourselves, our friends, family, and colleagues usually will. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Therefore, if you haven't noticed any of the previous signs, but find that those around you are telling you to stop apologizing, you likely have an apology-problem that you need to work on.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Benefits_of_Apologizing\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\"><strong>The Benefits of Apologizing<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Of course, as spiritual individuals, we know that everything in life is about balance. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">While over-apologizing is something to be discouraged and worked on, there are also many benefits to sincere apologies. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The important word to take away here is &lsquo;sincere', which is one of the largest drawbacks of saying sorry too much as your apology loses its authenticity and meaning.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">A sincere apology can encourage forgiveness, reduce hostility, and repair broken relationships. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">In 21st century networks and social circles the ability to show emotional vulnerability, such as by saying sorry can be viewed positively too. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Saying sorry is also the first step in a healthy healing process after a disagreement or negative event.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"The_Negatives_of_Being_Over_Apologetic\"><\/span><strong><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\">The Negatives of Being Over Apologetic<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Being over apologetic however comes with some heavy negatives, which is why learning to stop saying sorry is important. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Firstly, <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">people can lose respect for you or change their view of you. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">When people over compliment others, for example, they can be seen as sucking up to them for a favor. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Similarly, when you apologize all the time you can give off the impression of lacking confidence, lacking an opinion or voice, and can give unkind individuals the chance to treat you badly or abuse your trust or confidence.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Secondly, just like the boy who cried wolf, saying sorry frequently lessens the impact of the times when you sincerely apologize. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Put simply, sorry will have less meaning due to how often you say it.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Thirdly, and most importantly, saying sorry too much can lower your self-esteem and perception of self. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Apologizing frequently regularly puts you in the social position of &lsquo;the lesser'. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">When you apologize you acquiesce to the other person or group that you have done wrong, and are therefore verbally bowing your head to the &lsquo;wronged' party, thus temporarily lowering your social status. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This is why a sincere apology is effective, as the person apologizing is making themselves <em>vulnerable<\/em> to the wronged party.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> However, in the case of over-apologizing, this can cement in your subconscious that you are lesser or lower than your peers or colleagues, which lowers your overall self-perception and esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"How_to_Stop_Saying_Sorry_in_5_Steps\"><\/span><strong><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\">How to Stop Saying Sorry in 5 Steps<\/span><\/strong><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p><noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2697 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"840\" height=\"472\" srcset=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps.jpg 840w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-300x169.jpg 300w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-768x432.jpg 768w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-595xh.jpg 595w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-585x329.jpg 585w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 24px), 720px\"><\/noscript><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"size-full wp-image-2697 aligncenter lazyload\" src=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps.jpg.webp\" alt=\"\" width=\"840\" height=\"472\" srcset=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps.jpg.webp 840w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-300x169.jpg.webp 300w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-768x432.jpg.webp 768w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-595xh.jpg.webp 595w, https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps-585x329.jpg.webp 585w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 760px) calc(100vw - 24px), 720px\" data-pin-media=\"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/how-to-stop-saying-in-5-steps.jpg\" id=\"mv-trellis-img-2\" data-trellis-processed=\"1\"><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Now, if you're reading this article and realize you're an over-apologizer don't worry! You're not alone, (I'm one too) and there are some very easy ways in which you can start to turn the tide and reduce the number of times you say sorry. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Here are some simple steps to help you reclaim power over your apologies.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"1_Practice_Self-awareness\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>1. Practice Self-awareness<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">As spiritual people, we already tend to be more attuned to ourselves, but sometimes we can become blinded to our faults, which is often why the first time you notice you over-apologize is when a friend tells you.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> It's important to listen to those around you and start to look within to assess your habits and behaviors. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">Being able to spot when and where you apologize will help you to notice patterns that can then be worked upon.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> You may find that these moments of reflection or meditation at the end of each day may help you to feel more self-aware and start to notice the presence of apologetic habits.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"2_Learn_When_to_and_When_Not_to_Apologize\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>2. Learn When to and When Not to Apologize<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This one can be pretty tricky if you come from a culture of apologizing like the UK or Canada, as the waters can be quite muddled as to when apologies are needed. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Oftentimes however we apologize simply because we're not sure if we need to or not, but want to safeguard ourselves from appearing rude in public, so we apologize anyway.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Spend some time watching others around you, in the office or your friend circle, notice when they apologize and when they don't.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> Also, when you find yourself apologizing take a mental moment to reflect upon the instance &ndash; was it a time where an apology was needed?<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"3_Change_up_Your_Script\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>3. Change up Your Script<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This step takes some work, so you shouldn't beat yourself up if you have some hiccups along the way. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Over time, however, this will feel natural to you. <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">In moments where you would apologize, try saying something else.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> For example, if in an email to a colleague they pick up on inaccuracy or a typo, instead of saying sorry, say; &lsquo;thanks for catching that!' or &lsquo;Whoops! Great spot!'. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This is still polite and cordial and is a chance to praise your workmate for their keen eye instead of apologizing for your honest mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">3.5 Substitute Your Words (Optional)<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This step is optional and is mostly for those of <em>over-apologizers<\/em> from countries or places with a culture of apologies. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">It's much harder to avoid saying sorry in places where everyone else does, and it can be seen as rude not to.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> However, if saying sorry frequently is spilling over into your interactions with friends or workmates, then you still need to take action. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>I propose substituting the word sorry for alternate polite phrases such as &lsquo;pardon me' or &lsquo;excuse me'.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">These words can take the place of sorry as your apologetic go-to and can leave the word &lsquo;sorry' reserved for sincere apologies.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"4_Reclaim_your_Assertiveness_and_Say_No\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>4. Reclaim your Assertiveness (and Say No)<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Being assertive doesn't come naturally to everyone, but it is important to remember there are so many different ways in which you can show assertiveness. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Being confident in your decisions and reasoning and standing by them is a great way to be assertive without feeling as though you are bossing others around.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"> Most importantly, learn how to say no (and <span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">don't apologize directly afterward!<\/span>).<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">When someone asks something of you there are always two options, that's why it's a request and not a command. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">For example, if you're already under a heavy workload, and your workmate wants to add more to your pile, you're well within your rights to say no. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">If you are uncomfortable leaving things at a flat refusal, you can explain the reasons why as this makes a great polite answer that avoids apologizing.<\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p6\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\"><strong><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">4.5 Use Technology to your Advantage (Optional)<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">21st Century life is full of so much useful technology, so why not use it to your advantage. In regards to over-apologizing, there's a lot of different great resources at your disposal. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>The &lsquo;<em>Just Not Sorry<\/em>&lsquo; plugin, for example, notifies you whenever you writing contains apologetic words or phrasing which might undermine what you're trying to say.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">There are also a variety of mediation and yoga guides with positive affirmations to help you increase your assertiveness and improve your self-esteem.<\/span><\/p>\n<h3 class=\"p6\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"5_When_its_Time_to_Apologize\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 18pt;\"><strong>5. When it's Time to Apologize<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h3>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Of course, apologies still have their place in polite society, and when it's time to genuinely apologize, you need to know-how. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">To give a meaningful apology you need to remember the three R's; regret, responsibility, and remedy. <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Firstly, show regret, this is where you let the other person know you regret the actions you took. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Next comes responsibility, this is where you take ownership of the wrong or hurtful actions that were taken. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Lastly comes remedy, while your actions cannot be undone, you can take steps to repair the damage that you have caused. <\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">This might be by replacing the item that you broke for example, or showing how you won't allow the situation to happen again.<\/span><\/p>\n<h2 class=\"p5\"><span class=\"ez-toc-section\" id=\"Reclaiming_your_Authority\"><\/span><span style=\"font-size: 24pt;\"><strong>Reclaiming your Authority<\/strong><\/span><span class=\"ez-toc-section-end\"><\/span><\/h2>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">The best thing about learning not to say sorry so often is reclaiming your authority. <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\"><strong>Without apologies littering your vocabulary those around you will start to view you as a much more authoritative voice and you'll find that your words have more meaning.<\/strong> <\/span><\/p>\n<p class=\"p3\"><span style=\"font-size: 14pt;\">Best of all you'll find your self-esteem is boosted, allowing you to step forth into the world with more confidence allowing you to achieve more than you ever thought possible, and without a <em>meaningless<\/em> apology in sight!<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sorry! Five simple letters that for many of us comprise a large amount of our spoken vocabulary. Whether it&#8217;s for saying no, crying, or even just making a reasonable request &hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":2694,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"editor_plus_copied_stylings":"{}","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"disable-in-feed":false,"article-schema-type":"","disable-critical-css":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[149],"tags":[147],"class_list":["post-2664","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-mind-body","tag-sorry-syndrome"],"aioseo_notices":[],"gutentor_comment":2,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2664","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2664"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2664\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2664"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2664"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/subconsciousservant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2664"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}