Navigating the complex world of human sexuality can be challenging, and you might be curious about the different orientations.
Our sexuality is unique to us, but learning about different sexual orientations can help us on our journey of self-discovery and truth.
In this article, we'll explore demisexuality, a sexual orientation characterized by experiencing sexual attraction only after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
Is the idea of casual sex unappealing to you? Do you rarely find someone attractive when first meeting them?
You may be demisexual, and learning the signs of being demisexual can help you explore your truth.
Read on to discover all about this wonderful sexual orientation!
What Are The Signs Of Being Demisexual?
Delayed Attraction
In your experience, you may notice that it takes a while to develop a sexual attraction to someone, even if they're physically appealing.
Unlike the general population, your attractions are closely linked with strong emotional connections.
You don't enjoy casual sex or friends-with-benefits situations, preferring to take time to get to know someone on a deep level.
Once emotional bonds are established, you might start feeling sexually drawn to them.
Remember, being demisexual is a natural and valid sexual orientation that can lead to fulfilling connections.
Embrace your unique needs and preferences as they help you experience true intimacy with your partner.
Lack of Interest in Casual Sex
As a demisexual, you might notice that the idea of casual sex just doesn't appeal to you.
While others may enjoy engaging in one-night stands or flings, you value deeper emotional connections before experiencing any sexual attraction.
It's important to remember that this is completely normal, and there's nothing “wrong” with desiring more meaningful connections before becoming sexually interested in someone.
So, embrace your demisexuality and know that feeling this way is a valid and genuine aspect of your identity!
Attraction to Friends
Being a demisexual, you might notice that your attraction often grows within friendships. This is because demisexual people require a strong emotional connection to feel sexually attracted to someone.
It's not just about physical appearance for you; it's your friend's personality, values, and deep emotional bond that fuels your attraction.
So, knowing your friends well and developing a heightened understanding of each other paves the way for your romantic feelings.
Embrace this unique aspect of your sexuality, as it emphasizes the importance of emotional connection in your relationships.
This can lead to meaningful and long-lasting partnerships, as you prioritize genuine connections.
Confusion About Attraction
It's common for demisexual individuals to feel confused about their attraction levels.
Growing up, we are often told that looks are a huge part of attraction, and we must make ourselves look a certain way to attract a partner.
However, a demisexual will often find this aspect of attraction confusing.
This type of attraction seems pretty odd for them, as they need to get to know someone before finding them attractive!
If you are demisexual, you might find that you're not attracted to people based on physical appearance, voice, or smell alone, which contrasts with what society often deems “typical” attraction.
This confusion can lead to questioning your own feelings or feeling isolated in your experience, but remember; sexuality is a spectrum. It's perfectly normal to experience attraction differently.
The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid was developed in 1998 and examines how there is a range of spectrums that influence our sexual orientation, from emotional preferences to sexual fantasies.
This shows us that there is so much depth to our sexuality; nothing is as black and white as you may think!
Embrace your unique perspective and be open to forming deep emotional bonds with potential partners.
Limited Number of Sexual Partners
As a demisexual, you might have a limited number of sexual partners in your life.
It's not uncommon for demisexuals to engage in romantic relationships that started as close friendships. This is due to the unique way you experience attraction.
You may find that the physical appearance of others doesn't ignite your sexual desires.
Instead, the emotional connection and deep understanding of someone's personality make you feel attracted to them.
This might result in fewer partners, as building such connections takes time and effort.
Preference for Long-Term Relationships
As a demisexual, you might gravitate towards long-term relationships more frequently.
This is because emotional connection plays a crucial role in your sexual attraction to others.
Keep in mind that everyone's experience with demisexuality is unique, so your preferences and experiences may differ from others who identify as demisexual.
Be kind to yourself and embrace your journey toward discovering and navigating meaningful relationships.
No Celebrity Crushes
Demisexuality can manifest in different ways, and one interesting sign is the lack of celebrity crushes.
As a demisexual, you might notice that you don't usually get attracted to famous people based on their looks or fame alone.
While your friends are gushing over Ryan Gosling while you watch The Notebook at your girlie sleepover, you may be sitting there feeling a little bit confused!
In a society where celebrity crushes and infatuations are common, this is a sure sign that you may be demisexual.
Or, perhaps Ryan Gosling just isn't for you…
Feelings of Being Broken or Different
You might have always felt a bit different or even broken regarding your experiences with attraction and relationships.
It's often the case that demisexual individuals struggle to understand why they don't feel sexual attraction towards others like their peers do.
This sense of feeling “off” or disconnected from societal norms can actually be a sign that you're demisexual.
Thankfully, as society progresses, we are learning more about different sexualities and the true range of sexual orientations.
According to Dr. Nikki Hayfield, a researcher of LGBTQ+ sexualities, more young people are actually rejecting labels for a ‘hearts, not parts' approach to love.
Questioning If They Are Asexual
It's natural to question your feelings and attractions, especially if you're unsure about your sexual identity.
You may be questioning if you are asexual if you have a demisexual preference towards others.
If you're wondering whether you're a demisexual or asexual, consider these aspects: your interest in sex and desire for emotional connections.
As a demisexual, you may only feel sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond with someone.
A key difference between demisexuality and asexuality is the presence or absence of sexual attraction.
Asexual individuals rarely, if ever, experience sexual attraction, even in the presence of emotional connections.
Enjoyment of Sex Within a Committed Relationship
Demisexuality, as a sexual orientation, means that you typically only experience sexual attraction when a strong emotional connection is formed first.
However, this doesn't mean that you don't enjoy or desire sex at all.
When you're in a committed relationship, the bond and trust formed with your partner allows for a deeper and more satisfying sexual connection.
Having this emotional base is essential for your enjoyment of the act. Demisexual individuals can still have a passionate and varied sex life, just as anyone else.
Remember, it's crucial to communicate your needs and desires with your partner.
Establishing this understanding can create a more fulfilling experience for both parties.
The Need for Deep Conversation
As a demisexual, you might find shallow conversations unfulfilling.
Instead, engaging in deep conversations with your partner strengthens the emotional bond essential for your sexual attraction.
These conversations could revolve around shared interests, dreams, and aspirations.
By opening up to each other about personal experiences, you can genuinely connect and feel comfortable, paving the way for potential sexual attraction.
Not Understanding the Concept of Hotness
As a demisexual, the idea of someone being “hot” or having an immediate physical attraction might confuse you.
You could appreciate someone's appearance but not feel a strong desire to be with them based on their looks alone.
You may be more focused on getting to know the person and forming a deep emotional connection with them.
The concept of “hotness” may seem superficial, while you value a relationship's emotional and intellectual aspects.
Value Emotional Intimacy Over Sexual Intimacy
As a demisexual, you often prioritize emotional connections over physical ones.
You're likely to seek deep conversations, shared experiences, and mutual understanding to feel genuinely connected to someone.
In many cases, your sexual attraction may not even emerge until a strong emotional bond is formed.
Demisexuality emphasizes the importance of knowing and trusting your partner before engaging in sexual activities.
Remember to nurture your emotional connections and remain patient in your journey, as the development of emotional intimacy naturally takes time.
By deepening emotional bonds, you'll enhance the overall quality of your relationships and create a stronger sense of closeness with your partner.
Being Selective in Relationships
As a demisexual person, you may find that your approach to relationships is more selective.
You might not feel immediate physical attraction based on appearance.
Because it takes time for you to find someone attractive, you are much more selective in who you date and hook up with.
This means that one-night stands or casual dating might not appeal to you, as you need time to establish deep connections with your partners.
Doesn't Feel Immediate Sexual Attraction on Dating Apps
As a demisexual, you may find that dating apps can be particularly challenging.
When browsing through profile pictures, you're unlikely to feel an instant sexual attraction to potential matches.
This is because, for you, building a deep emotional bond is crucial to experiencing sexual attraction toward someone.
Instead of relying on purely physical attributes, it's important to have meaningful conversations and establish connections with people.
It's not uncommon for demisexuals to feel discouraged in the online dating world, but remember that it's completely normal for you to take your time to develop a strong connection before feeling sexually attracted to someone.
Alan is the founder of Subconscious Servant. He has a passion for learning about topics such as spirituality and the metaphysical world. The thing he loves to explore most though is manifesting with the law of attraction ✨.