Human beings are amazingly complex creatures, and we all experience the world in different ways, but one thing is for sure, it’s much more fun traversing the world with a partner than alone.
So, who makes the ideal partner for Highly Sensitive People (HSP)?
Join us as we take a look at the qualities that the best partners for highly sensitive people have.
A Quick Note on HSP
Someone who is considered to have heightened or deeper central nervous system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli is known as a highly sensitive person (HSP).
Some people refer to this as having SPS, or short for sensory processing sensitivity, so when doing your research you may find these terms being used interchangeably!
What Are The Qualities Of Ideal Partners For Highly Sensitive People?
1. Honesty
The ideal partner for a highly sensitive person will be honest. Honesty should be expected in any relationship but when dating a highly sensitive person it is essential.
While for some couples white lies are harmless, the effects can be much more disastrous when a highly sensitive person realizes they have been misled or fooled.
An HSP, who is already prone to overthinking, may obsess over a lie they have heard (no matter how tiny), trying to figure out how they contributed to their partner's deception.
As highly sensitive people are known to internalize their feelings this can cause a build-up of anxiety that can place strain on the relationship.
A partner that is open and honest is incredibly reassuring to an HSP and builds a strong foundation for a loving and supportive relationship.
2. Patience
It’s essential for the partner of a highly sensitive person to be patient.
While dating an HSP is incredibly rewarding, they are also very delicate creatures whose wellness may shift quickly.
There can be occasions where the partner of an HSP will have to change a previously scheduled activity because their partner isn't feeling well (perhaps they've had a particularly stressful week).
They may also experience anxiety and find some settings or circumstances to be triggering and will need your patient support to guide them through it.
Therefore, a patient partner can help a highly sensitive person understand and overcome their quirks and needs.
3. Consistency
Being consistent is the key to being a good partner for a highly sensitive individual. HSPs value stability, routine, and predictability.
Being consistent in everyday chores and routines is crucial, but it also applies to being consistent in the relationship.
Highly sensitive people require reassurance from time to time that their spouse loves and cares for them as well as proof that the relationship is developing steadily.
Their partner's erratic behavior puts them on edge and can serve as another trigger for unfavorable HSP behaviors.
4. A Sense of Humor
HSPs are easily overwhelmed, which makes them emotional and unsettled.
However, laughter makes for a great remedy, and this is why the ideal partner for a highly sensitive person will have a great sense of humor.
An HSP who is feeling down can benefit from laughter.
It gives them a break from reality, removes the focus from their stresses, and makes them feel more grounded.
It is an emotional blessing for partners to be able to coax a grin out of their HSP significant other, especially in the midst of a particularly trying circumstance.
5. Emotional Maturity
People with high levels of sensitivity require a companion who is extremely emotionally mature and grounded.
HSPs struggle to control their own emotions, and they may even take on the unfavorable feelings of individuals they interact with.
Therefore, a spouse who displays strong emotions will probably be too much for an HSP.
The ideal spouse of an HSP can still express their feelings, but they must be careful not to project their negative emotions onto their partner.
To reassure their spouse, ideal partners will simply express their emotions in a clear manner and make sure to remind them that they are not at fault.
Otherwise, the HSP might be left wondering what went wrong for the remainder of the day.
6. They’re Willing to Embrace and Love your Differences
Although they are conscious that they can be difficult to love, highly sensitive people are nonetheless capable of becoming tremendously loving and dedicated partners.
Because it gives us the chance to emphasize the special nature of our love, highly sensitive people want their partners to love them for their great sensitivity, not in spite of it.
The best partner for a highly sensitive person will let their partner's high level of sensitivity strengthen their bond.
7. Empathy
This may seem like an obvious trait to look for in a partner, but since most HSPs are empaths, they want a partner who also has the capacity for empathy.
HSPs are aware that not everyone experiences emotions in the same depth as they do, yet a complete lack of sympathy and compassion can be distressing.
When something emotionally upsetting happens, we want a partner who can at least comprehend and empathize with us.
In addition, both HSPs and non-HSPs would agree that empathy is a desirable quality to find in a companion because it is a charming and attractive trait to have.
Related post: Explore the concept of a true empath and its significance in forming deeper connections.
8. Non-Confrontational
HSPs are highly attuned people, and they understand that almost all problems can be resolved without confrontation.
Therefore, the ideal partner for them is a person who also understands this and is naturally non-confrontational.
This point comes hand in hand with the emotional maturity that we talked about earlier.
For an HSP confrontation is three times as stressful and impactful and is likely to send anxiety levels soaring and maybe even induce a panic attack, which we all know will solve nothing.
9. Dedication
It takes a dedicated spouse to ignore these “shortcomings” because HSPs might become overwhelmed and mistakenly turn molehills into mountains.
An ideal spouse will devote time to attending to your needs while encouraging you on your quest for self-knowledge and development.
It's crucial to remember that even when the HSP finds someone who is dependable, loving, and devoted, they still need to put in the effort to make things as simple as possible.
10. Decisiveness
An HSP is so emotionally sensitive that they view problems from multiple angles all at once which can make decision-making and effective problem solving almost impossible.
The ideal partner for an HSP is therefore decisive and good at problem-solving.
Combined with their trait of patience they will be able to help their partners work through their problems and come up with workable solutions that can allow the HSP to overcome their issues.
A decisive nature can also be a blessing in the day-to-day lives of an HSP couple.
The decisive partner can help make simple decisions easy such as what’s for dinner or where to go and so on.
11. An Active Listener
A lot of people make the mistake of ‘listening' without actually listening, and this type of person isn't right for an HSP who often needs to work through their problems.
This kind of individual isn't appropriate for an HSP who frequently needs to go through their problems vocally because many people make the mistake of listening without fully understanding what the other person is saying.
An HSP needs a companion who can actively listen to them.
This implies that they will offer their partner their undivided attention when they need to communicate and will listen to and respond to what is said.
They will wait until their companion has finished speaking before interjecting or providing any commentary.
The ideal lover is aware that active listening increases information intake and increases the likelihood that you will comprehend what your partner is saying.
12. Affection
HSPs are often crippled with self-doubt and can worry about the status of their relationship.
Regular acts of affection whether vocal or physical can reassure and calm the often racing mind of a highly sensitive person.
An openly affectionate partner can really help to lower the stress levels of their significant other.
In a similar vein, highly sensitive people really appreciate the little things, so a partner who shows they care by cooking their favorite meal or even bringing them a cup of tea can make a far bigger impact than they may at first realize.
13. Values Your Personal Space
Highly sensitive people can become drained pretty easily and often need to hide away to rest or recharge.
Not all partners will understand this, but it's essential for partners of HSPs to understand and not assume their other half is being lazy or anti-social.
In the case of an unsuited partner, HSPs will find that no matter how many times you explain that you need to take care of yourself, they will continue to believe you are ignoring them or intentionally being rude.
This can put a strain on the relationship and cause the highly sensitive partner to try to suppress their needs leading to excess emotional toll and even burnout.
14. Values Authenticity
People who are highly sensitive do not value superficial connections based on small talk. The ideal partners for highly sensitive people will instead feel at ease discussing feelings, emotions, dreams, and aspirations.
When discussing their goals and dreams, HSPs accept their partners' openness and find these conversations to be incredibly fulfilling and intimate.
A highly sensitive person's experience of intimacy is frequently much more emotional than it is physical.
And it's crucial to be open to exploring topics of conversation that result in enduring bonds if you want to develop significant, long-lasting friendships with HSPs.
15. They’re Observant
While a bubbly, gregarious, and fun-loving individual could snag a mate any day of the week, relationships don't always come easily for very sensitive people.
Some people immediately flee when they notice a sensitive person.
A very sensitive person is best paired with an obedient individual.
They can detect when something is making you feel bad or when you might need a break from a social event by reading their partner's indications.
FAQs
Can highly sensitive people find love?
Meaning is what drives HSPs.
Despite the difficulties they encounter, they are more likely to have a rich and fulfilling committed relationship in a love relationship because they will be committed and willing to put up the effort necessary to forge a deeply meaningful connection.
So yes, absolutely, highly sensitive people can most definitely find love.
Should highly sensitive people get married?
Yes! As long as it's with the right person.
When a person understands their highly sensitive partner they open up the potential to build a beautiful, thriving marriage.
How do you date when you are HSP?
Speaking honestly, sometimes it can be really hard for highly sensitive people to enter the dating scene, but there’s definitely a whole host of techniques and strategies that can be used to help, making the world of dating easier to navigate.
I’m Chloe, an introverted, old soul, just trying to make my way in the world! Aside from studying and writing about the spiritual, I fill my spare time with reading and making all manner of things from knitted scarves to clay creations. I define myself as a ‘low-key Pagan’ and focus my attention on living a good, kind, and empathic life. For enquiries contact me at: [email protected]
Diane Lowery
Friday 16th of December 2022
I greatly appreciate the article. I am an HSP and find it extremely difficult as I feel that I don’t fit in. The odd duck out. It’s wonderful to have so much more information to guide me in my journey.
Alan Young
Monday 26th of December 2022
Thank you for your kind words! I completely understand the feeling of being the "odd duck out." It can be challenging to navigate relationships and find partners who truly understand and support your unique needs. I hope this list of top qualities helps guide you in finding a supportive and understanding partner. Remember, it's okay to take your time and be selective in finding the right person for you. You deserve to be with someone who truly values and appreciates your sensitivity. Keep going on your journey, and don't give up hope!