No matter how much you love someone, if you're in a relationship with them, it's not uncommon for you to cheat on them.
It's easy to fall into the trap of believing that if someone loves you, they won't cheat on you. But that's not true.
Cheating on someone can happen when you're mad at them or when you feel like they're not being affectionate enough.
It could also happen because of a lack of sex or intimacy in the relationship.
But no matter what the reason, cheating is never justified — especially if it's done repeatedly.
When you cheat on someone, it shows that you don't respect or value your relationship enough to try and work things out first before looking elsewhere for love and attention.
In this article, we'll be discussing whether you can love someone and cheat on them or not.
Can You Cheat on Someone and Still Love Them?
In order to be in a relationship, both partners must be committed to each other, and if one of them isn't happy with the current situation, they need to speak up and make changes.
If you're cheating on your partner, then you're clearly not committed to them.
In fact, if you're having an affair with someone else, then we would argue that you never were committed to your significant other in the first place.
If you love someone, then you should want to be with them all of the time — not just when it's convenient for you or when they are around.
If you're constantly thinking about other people (or worse — actually meeting up with them), then it's likely that this is just a phase that you'll grow out of eventually.
Sometimes people cheat because they feel like they aren't getting enough attention, or they want to feel desired again.
Sometimes, people cheat because they are bored with their partner and want to feel more excitement in the relationship.
Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't justify the act at all!
Why Do People Cheat on Their Partners?
The reasons why someone would cheat on their partner are as varied as the people who do it.
Sometimes, it's because they're bored or unhappy with their current relationship.
Sometimes it's because they're feeling neglected or taken for granted.
Other times, it's simply because they're tempted by someone else or have too many drinks at a party and end up doing something they'll regret later.
Whatever the reason, cheating is never a good thing — especially when it comes to relationships that have lasted for years or even decades.
Cheating is all about power.
It’s about taking control of someone else’s life and manipulating them into doing what you want them to do.
A cheater wants to control their partner and make them feel helpless, weak, and vulnerable.
This makes them feel powerful and dominant over their partner.
Cheating is also about feeling good about yourself.
A cheater wants you to believe they can get anyone they want because they are smart enough or attractive enough or rich enough or funny enough or popular enough – whatever it takes for them to feel good about themselves.
Also, cheating is not always about sex.
Infidelity can be motivated by love or a desire for emotional connection.
It can also be a sign of other relationship problems, such as boredom or dissatisfaction with your partner.
RELATED: 7 Narcissist Cheating Signs You Should Not Deny
Is Cheating a Choice or a Mistake?
It's not a mistake. It's a choice.
It's a choice to cheat. It's a choice to commit adultery or have an affair or whatever you want to call it.
And it's a choice that many people make because of the way we live our lives today.
There are so many distractions and opportunities for infidelity that we don't even have time to focus on our own relationships anymore, let alone someone else's.
We've become so distracted by work, kids, social media, technology — all these things that used to be hobbies but now consume our lives — that we don't even have time for ourselves or our partners anymore.
And when you don't have time for yourself or your partner anymore, you start looking outside of those relationships for what they can't provide.
The problem is that most people don't realize they're doing this until they do it — which is why cheating is always a surprise when it happens in a relationship.
There isn't a singular scenario where cheating becomes a mistake.
At the end of the day, you know exactly what you got yourself into and there's no way to take it back.
Even when you're drunk and “accidentally” kissed someone or slept with someone, you still know what your actions are.
Signs of Cheating in a Relationship
Cheating is not just a physical act, it’s also an emotional one.
Cheating can happen when you are in a relationship or out of it and can be very hard to detect if you don’t know what to look for.
People cheat for different reasons and we'll share with you some signs that your partner might be cheating on you so that you can decide for yourself if something isn't right about your relationship right now!
1. Schedule changes with no good explanation
If your partner suddenly starts canceling plans or being late to events, it could be a sign that they’re cheating.
If you ask your partner why they canceled on you so last minute, they may have an excuse like “I forgot I had to take my car in for maintenance” or “My coworker got sick and I had to cover her shift at the office.”
But if you know them well enough, then these excuses should sound completely fabricated because of how often they occur.
If you question their questionable behavior, then it can be helpful for both parties involved to get a professional opinion on why their actions are suspicious.
2. Evident inconsistency in communication
If your partner is cheating, they’ll be less likely to communicate with you.
This may seem counterintuitive, but when people cheat on their partners, they often become more secretive about their phone and other activities.
This can include shutting off cellphones or computers in the middle of conversations, being less open about where they are going or what they are doing (particularly if it involves another person), or even deleting texts or emails.
You may also notice a change in their mood and body language.
Cheating partners will usually appear more withdrawn and detached than usual as they seek out new relationships outside their current relationship.
3. There's a decrease—or increase—in libido
A decrease in libido can be a sign of cheating in a relationship.
It may come as no surprise that if you find your partner lacking the desire for sex, or having to force themselves to have it, there’s something else going on.
If your partner is spending less time with you, this could also be a red flag.
Another sign that your partner may be cheating on you is an increase of libido and interest in sex.
This could suggest they are seeing someone else who is giving them more attention and affection than they are getting at home.
4. Phone habit changes
If your partner's phone habits have changed, it could be a sign that they're cheating.
For example, if they're always on their phone and never put it down, or if they keep their phone in hand at all times—even when you're having sex—that might be cause for concern.
They may also have their phone out all the time even when there's nothing to do with it.
This can lead to them making calls or checking texts or emails even if the activity is totally unrelated to what's going on at that moment.
If you notice these changes in behavior, then ask yourself why.
What could be happening that would cause someone not to want off their phone unless absolutely necessary?
5. There's an increased effort in appearance
This is a very common sign that a partner may be cheating on you.
They'll make more of an effort to look good and put themselves together, whether it be with clothing or makeup.
They'll also wear more expensive jewelry and shoes, as well as carry designer handbags or other accessories.
Even their hair style might change!
You might notice that they suddenly have better looking skin and tighter clothes, or want to do their nails more often than normal (or even get acrylics).
It could just be a new job that has them dressing up more often than before, but it could also mean that they're spending time with someone who makes them feel attractive enough for them not only to bother doing all those things at home but also go out looking nice when they go out together too!
How Can You Forgive Someone Who Cheated on You?
Cheating is one of the most painful experiences a person can go through, which is why it's so important to forgive your partner as soon as possible.
It's not always easy to forgive someone who hurt you, but it can be done.
Once you learn how to forgive someone who cheated on you, it will help move forward in your relationship and strengthen your bond with each other.
Here are some tips on how to forgive someone who cheated on you.
The first step is to accept that the person you love has done something wrong.
It’s not easy, but it is necessary. The second step is to accept that in some cases, forgiveness isn’t possible.
If your partner cheated on you, that person violated your trust and made a choice that they knew would hurt you.
This type of betrayal cannot be fixed with an apology and a promise to do better next time.
In these cases, it might be best for both parties involved to move on from each other.
However, if the person who cheated on you still wants to be in your life after their infidelity and show remorse for their actions, then forgiveness may still be possible for you two.
Lastly, don't blame yourself. There's no way to predict how someone will react in a crisis situation.
Don't blame yourself for what happened or question why your partner strayed from fidelity.
In fact, don't try to figure out why your partner strayed at all.
It will only lead to resentment and anger toward them instead of forgiveness.
RELATED: Uncovering the Truth: 40+ Psychological Facts about Cheating
Is the Statement “Once a Cheater, Always a Cheater” True?
We've all heard the saying “once a cheater, always a cheater,” but is it true?
The answer is no — not necessarily.
It depends on a number of factors including how long you have been together, how much you trust each other, and your willingness to work through issues together.
With time, people can change their behavior — even if they did something wrong in the past.
That's because we aren't static beings who don't evolve or grow over time.
We all make mistakes and are human beings that are capable of change.
However, if someone has cheated on their partner multiple times in the past, then it's fair to say that person may be more likely to cheat again in the future.
This is especially if they haven't shown any remorse for their actions or made any effort to change their behavior.
When someone cheats on their partner once, it's usually an isolated incident that happens because of something specific (such as an emotional imbalance caused by stress at work).
But when someone has cheated multiple times on their partner (or vice versa), it usually means there is a deeper problem that needs to be addressed before moving forward with the relationship.
And since cheating is often connected with emotional unavailability or disinterest in the other person, this needs to be addressed first.
So, the answer to this is a case-to-case basis.
Can a Relationship Survive With Unfaithfulness?
Relationships that have survived cheating and infidelity can be stronger than those that haven't.
However, you have to be willing to put in the work. The first step is to be honest with yourself.
If you cheated on your partner, then you need to own up to it and be accountable for your actions.
You need to make sure that you understand exactly what happened and why it happened so you don't repeat the same mistakes again.
The next step is forgiveness.
You need to forgive yourself for what happened and make sure you forgive your partner as well.
If one person doesn't forgive the other, then there's no way that this will ever work out.
Once both people are ready to move forward, then they need to talk about how they want their relationship going forward.
Do they want things to stay the same? Do they want them to change a little bit?
They need to figure out what works best for both of them before proceeding any further with this relationship or any other relationship in the future.
Final Thoughts
The harsh truth is that love is not easy. It takes time, energy, dedication, and more to keep the fire burning.
You have to actively work at it with every person you fall in love with.
So if you are in a loving relationship, make sure you take care of it. Don't cheat on them.
They deserve your respect and affection just as much as you deserve theirs.
I'm a full-time freelance writer with a love for writing self-improvement, relationships, mental health, and lifestyle articles. Check out my other articles here on Subconscious Servant, or also Thought Catalog (that’s where I express myself in a more creative form ✨).