15 Signs Your Partner Lacks Empathy

Empathy is a fundamental aspect of human relationships, allowing us to understand and share the feelings of others.

In romantic partnerships, empathy plays a crucial role in creating a strong connection and nurturing a healthy bond.

According to psychologist Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, empathy provides us with the building blocks of a relationship.

To have a sense of someone’s anxiety, hurt, or joy is a prerequisite of being able to understand them. Without the context of feelings, people are often mystifying. Understanding feelings is like being at the theater and seeing the stage, props, and costumes of a play—it provides the setting for the words and actions of others to make sense. Empathy is a fundamental skill of emotional intelligence.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

However, not everyone possesses this essential quality. If you're concerned that your partner might be lacking empathy, it's important to recognize the signs early on.

Being aware of your partner's ability to empathize with you can help determine the overall health of your relationship.

It can also provide valuable insight into your partner's emotional intelligence, which impacts how they handle conflicts and express love.

In this article, we'll discuss some common signs that may indicate a lack of empathy in your partner and how you can address these issues to strengthen your bond.

What Are The Signs Your Partner Lacks Empathy?

They Dismiss Your Feelings

In a healthy relationship, it's vital to have open communication where both partners feel validated and understood.

However, if your partner consistently dismisses your emotions, it might be a sign that they lack empathy.

You might share your thoughts, feelings, or concerns about something you're experiencing, only to find them brushing it off as unimportant or belittling you for feeling that way.

It can be heartbreaking to see them trivialize what you're going through.

Have you ever had a rough day at work, only for your partner to tell you to ‘get over it‘ or ‘stop being so sensitive‘?

This type of response can leave you feeling unsupported and alone. But this behavior isn't a normal part of a healthy relationship.

They Ignore Your Pain

Does your partner seem to never acknowledge your suffering? Do they seem unsympathetic or indifferent to your feelings?

Empathy involves being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, so when your partner dismisses your hurt, it could be a sign they lack empathy.

In these moments, try sharing your emotions openly and expressing your needs.

However, if your partner continues to ignore your pain and refuses to offer support, stay strong and seek comfort from other loved ones or a professional.

It's important to know that you deserve to be heard and understood, especially by the person closest to you.

Your emotional well-being is invaluable, and acknowledging it is a critical part of any healthy relationship.

They Offer No Emotional Support

When your partner lacks empathy, it might be apparent in how they offer little or no emotional support.

A partner with low emotional intelligence may ignore or show indifference toward your feelings. They might not pick up on cues that you need support or comfort.

This can make you feel isolated or alone. In stark contrast, an empathetic partner would be attentive and supportive during such times.

Take note of these signs, as a consistent lack of emotional support in a relationship can be exhausting and emotionally draining for you.

Acknowledging this issue is the first step towards addressing it and finding ways to improve your connection.

They Don't Understand Your Experiences

You may notice that your partner struggles to genuinely grasp your feelings and cannot relate to the emotions you experience.

This lack of understanding can create a disconnect in your relationship as they're unable to provide the support you need when faced with difficulties.

Their inability to empathize with your emotions might stem from their struggle with cognitive empathy.

Instead of offering comfort and a listening ear, they may appear aloof, indifferent, or even dismissive when you share your thoughts and feelings.

This can be incredibly frustrating and isolating, leaving you feeling unheard and invalidated.

In conversations, your partner may prioritize their own thoughts and opinions over yours, dismissing your experiences or emotions as irrelevant or unimportant.

Genuine empathy involves understanding and recognizing the emotions of others, and if your partner consistently fails to do so, it may be a sign that they lack this essential quality.

They Dominate Conversations

When your partner continually dominates conversations, this might be a sign that they lack empathy.

Do you sometimes feel as if you can't get a word in edgeways? Do you sometimes give up trying to tell your partner something because they don't seem to be letting you speak?

If they're unable to genuinely listen to what you're saying or constantly interrupt you, it shows a deficiency in their ability to understand and care about your feelings and opinions.

Imagine you're trying to share an important experience or emotion with your partner, but they consistently redirect the conversation to focus on themselves.

This indicates that they might not have the capacity to empathize or have difficulty prioritizing your needs and emotions.

In such cases, you might feel unheard or unsupported, which can strain your relationship.

Try to address this issue with your partner, and if they're willing to work on their communication style, it might lead to a more balanced and empathetic connection.

They Show No Sympathy

It can be disheartening when your partner seems to lack empathy, especially when they don't show sympathy either.

Imagine a situation where you experience a personal setback, and rather than comforting you, your partner remains disconnected or even blames you.

This indifference can stem from various factors, such as emotional static. Your partner might be struggling with their own emotional issues, which prevents them from connecting with your feelings.

Another possibility is that they may lack strong relationships themselves, affecting their ability to empathize with others.

People who lack close relationships might find it challenging to bond with others, including their romantic partners.

As you navigate this challenge, remember that empathy and sympathy are essential aspects of a healthy relationship.

But also, don't forget to be patient and understanding—sometimes, people need time and support to develop their empathetic abilities.

They Make Everything About Themselves

If you have come to your partner to tell them about your promotion, for them only to turn the conversation around to their career achievements, your partner may lack empathy.

If your partner lacks empathy, they may frequently share their own experiences, problems, or achievements while failing to acknowledge or appreciate your input.

Of course, it's essential for both partners to express themselves and feel valued in a relationship. But, if you find that your partner prioritizes their own feelings and needs above yours, it's crucial to address this issue.

Consider a calm and open conversation about your observations and concerns, which can help foster understanding and improve the situation.

They Don't Encourage You

Your partner should be your cheerleader. But, people who lack empathy do not seem to have this ability.

It's natural to seek encouragement from your partner, but if you find that they're consistently not supporting or cheering you on, it could be a sign they lack empathy.

When you share your dreams, goals, or accomplishments, a partner who lacks empathy may respond with indifference or even negativity.

This behavior likely stems from their inability to understand your emotions or perspectives.

Instead of feeling happy or proud of your achievements, they might only see it through their own experiences.

In contrast, an empathetic partner would celebrate with you, recognizing your hard work and passion.

To improve communication and empathy in your relationship, consider discussing your feelings openly and honestly with your partner.

It's important to express your need for support and encouragement, as this can foster a stronger emotional connection.

Remember that nurturing empathy is an ongoing process, and patience is key in allowing both you and your partner to grow.

They Don't Recognize Your Needs

It's crucial in a relationship for both partners to be in tune with each other's needs. If you notice that your partner often disregards or fails to understand your needs, this may be a sign that they lack empathy.

For instance, they might overlook your emotional or physical needs, making you feel neglected or unimportant.

This lack of recognition might also manifest in their inability to offer support when you're going through a tough time.

Instead, they could focus more on their own needs, leaving you feeling unheard and unsupported.

To maintain a strong, healthy bond with your partner, it's vital for you both to have a mutual understanding of each other's needs and work together in addressing them.

According to May Han, a licensed marriage and family therapist, active listening helps couples who struggle with empathy.

In PsychToday, Han recommends an activity called ‘speaker-listener,' where you and your partner take turns holding an object and, while holding it, shares something difficult they have recently faced.

They Make Insensitive Jokes

It's important to have a sense of humor, but when your partner makes jokes that are insensitive, it can be a sign they lack empathy.

Does your partner often joke about topics that seem inappropriate or hurtful to you?

If you've noticed a pattern of insensitive humor, it's possible that your partner isn't considering the feelings of others when they make these jokes.

It's not uncommon for people to use humor as a way to deal with uncomfortable situations, but there's a line between healthy coping and disregarding the emotions of others.

If you're questioning whether your partner's joking habits are a sign of a lack of empathy, consider talking to them about how their humor makes you feel.

Open communication can help shed light on their intentions and create a better understanding of each other's boundaries.

Remember, a friendly tone can be key when having these conversations.

They Choose Criticism Over Compassion

In a relationship, it's natural to offer support and encouragement, but if your partner consistently chooses to criticize rather than show compassion, this may be a sign they lack empathy.

When you're feeling down or struggling with a challenge, a partner with empathy would typically validate your feelings and help you find solutions.

But if you find that your partner constantly points out your flaws or blames you without considering your perspective, it suggests their empathetic abilities are limited.

Being constantly criticized can take a heavy toll on your emotional well-being, so it's crucial to pay attention to this red flag.

They Downplay Your Accomplishments

It can be disheartening when your partner doesn't appreciate your achievements, but when they actively downplay them, it might be a sign they lack empathy.

Often, people with low empathy struggle to recognize or appreciate the feelings of others, including their partner's joy and success.

Imagine you share news of a promotion at work, expecting genuine support from your loved one. Instead, your partner dismisses it or even makes you feel guilty for feeling proud.

This tendency to devalue your victories can leave you feeling unsupported and lonely.

Having a partner who celebrates your accomplishments is fundamental for a healthy relationship.

If you consistently experience this lack of support, try initiating an open conversation about how it makes you feel.

Sometimes, better communication can lead to change.

However, if this behavior persists, consider seeking guidance from a mental health professional to help navigate your relationship with a partner who lacks empathy.

They Have Poor Non-Verbal Communication

Poor non-verbal communication can be an indicator that your partner lacks empathy.

For example, if they tend to avoid eye contact while you're expressing your feelings, it might signal that they're not investing in understanding your emotions.

Additionally, you may notice that your partner's body language is closed off, such as crossing their arms or avoiding physical closeness.

They might not reach out to comfort you when you're upset or exhibit the appropriate facial expressions in response to your emotions.

Keep in mind that everyone's non-verbal communication style is different, and these signs might not always indicate a lack of empathy.

However, if you consistently observe poor non-verbal communication from your partner, it could suggest they struggle with empathizing with your feelings.

They Disrespect Your Boundaries

It's essential to have healthy boundaries in any relationship, and your partner should respect them.

If you notice that they consistently violate your boundaries, it might indicate a lack of empathy on their part.

For instance, they may disregard your feelings, ignore your requests for personal space, or make decisions for you without asking for your input.

Expressing your needs and setting clear boundaries are crucial for maintaining your well-being.

If your partner continues to disrespect your boundaries despite clear communication, it's a sign that they may not understand or care about your feelings.

Remember, a partner who lacks empathy might struggle to relate to your emotions and experiences, making it challenging to create a strong, supportive connection.

Stay aware of your needs and advocate for yourself in your relationship, as building open and honest communication can help foster mutual understanding and growth.

They Don't Apologize With Sincerity

When your partner makes a mistake, it's normal to expect an apology. However, if your partner lacks empathy, their apologies might seem insincere or forced.

You may notice that they apologize only because they feel obligated to do so rather than genuinely understanding how their actions affected you.

This can make it difficult to move past conflicts and mend your relationship.

Paying attention to your partner's body language and tone of voice can help you determine if their apology is heartfelt.

If you find that their apologies are consistently insincere, it might be time to have a conversation about empathy and how it affects your relationship.

Keep in mind that it's important to approach this topic in a friendly, non-confrontational manner, as accusations may only worsen the situation.

By openly discussing the issue, you can work towards developing a stronger emotional connection.