“Hi, Long time! Oh my! How come you’ve put on so much weight?”
“Hey! Meeting you after ages! Kya baat yaar, you have a double chin. Meetha khane ki aadat gayi nahi abhi tak, haan?”
I wonder why our society is so concerned (umm.. a better word would be ‘obsessed’) with people gaining or losing weight. Weight issues are deeply enmeshed in our core beliefs and we’re conditioned to love ourselves when we shed some kilos and literally abhor ourselves if we put on weight.
There seems to be no logic to explain this, but we’re expected to remain in the same frame as we were at 18 years of age, and if circumstances cause the body to ebb and flow, it is obviously considered to be our fault for being either too careless or undisciplined. Have we ever sat down peacefully and tried to understand matters from better perspectives? Have we ever considered showing some kindness to ourselves?
Let’s take that for a fact that body changes are inevitable. Our bodies have to go through so much!
- For instance,
The hormonal changes keep taking place across the lifespan. - Our professions decide our lifestyle and our bodies have to adapt to that, too.
- A woman’s body transforms entirely after birthing a child.
- Our bodies also change after experiencing setbacks in the form of prolonged physical illness or psychological traumas.
These are just a few examples of changes that can ensue from the upheavals.
If you’re happily trying to shed some weight because fitness is a priority in your life, that’s fabulous! But if you’re doing it out of feeling pressured as you want to fit into that old pair of jeans or because your colleagues commented on the flab around your waist, it’s saddening! It implies that you’re giving people the permission to body shame you and that you’re yourself not at peace within you. It’s time you shifted your focus on making peace with your body and reconciling with the fact that your body WILL change!
For being able to do so, here’s what you can try:
Stop judging other people’s bodies:
Well, it’s not entirely our fault if we’ve sneakily looked at obese people in the mall/marketplaces and couldn’t resist commenting or laughing at them. Overweight children have always had to be the butt of their classmates’ jokes. It’s because we emulated these behaviors from the society, which lacked an emphatic perspective. But this has got to stop now! Let’s not be insensitive and shallow with regard to people’s appearances. All bodies are beautiful. Period.
Build a wardrobe that’s suitable for a range of sizes:
Often, our worry about losing weight escalates when we aren’t able to comfortably fit in our clothes. Well, that doesn’t bother my sister at all as she has found a perfect hack for it. She invests in clothing that is either stretchy or flowy, and not body tugging or clingy. She looks for attires that compliment her silhouette. That way, even if she gains or loses a few pounds here and there, she won’t have to fret or freak out. I owe her for such amazing ideas! And we all can try these practical hacks, too!
Don’t deprive yourself:
It is psychologically so frustrating when you don’t lose weight even despite starving yourself or exercising till you drop. Our metabolism will work better if we don’t keep shocking it by trying fad diets. Rather, including everything you love in your diet but in moderation, is the key. This will also ease the agony you’ve been experiencing because of feeling deprived.
Love yourself a little more:
Respect your body by practicing gratitude. From dawn till dusk and even while sleeping, your heart is pumping fresh blood for you; your immune system is fighting off infections and your lungs are working relentlessly. Show your body all the love it deserves and make peace with it.
Aditi Ahluwalia
The author is a Psychologist and Counsellor
