An English woman turned to social media looking for a sperm donor so she could have a second child. A seemingly optimistic quest into motherhood turned into an ordeal of remorse, underlining the pitfalls of making life-altering decisions on the web.
Search for a Donor via Social Media
Laura Coldman, a 33-year-old woman from England, became single in 2018 and yearned to have a second child. Instead of pursuing expensive IVF procedures, she decided to look for a sperm donor on Facebook. Laura already had a six-year-old boy and wanted him to have a sibling.
In 2020, Laura became a member of a Facebook group and was approached by a man who expressed his willingness to be a donor. She checked on his reputation in other groups, and reading good comments, she met him for the first time at his residence in December 2020.
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The encounter was a short one
The donor did not speak much, and 10 minutes later, he gave her a syringe containing the sample. Laura tried self-insemination, did the same again three more times over seven months, and became pregnant in July 2021 for the first time. She bore her son, Callum Anthony Ryan, in April 2022.
Though Laura loves her son, who was born weighing 8 pounds 8 ounces, she warns against searching for a donor on social media. Callum is now nonverbal, does not know risks, and has had furniture taken out of his room because he is always climbing.
Laura is on a long waiting list for autism assessment and speech therapy, fearing Callum’s problems might be related to the donor’s health.
The Untold Risks of Social Media Donors
Other women who shared the same donor have experienced similar symptoms in their children. She said, “I’m not neurodivergent, but similar characteristics have been seen in other women who conceived with the same donor.” Laura continued, “I couldn’t imagine living without my son, but I would not suggest seeking a sperm donor on Facebook. You never really know the individual perhaps they have a criminal record, mental health condition, or undisclosed medical background.”
She also said she told the donor about her son’s birth after he was born and sent photos but hasn’t heard from him since.
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