One of the hardest experiences in life is to watch the suffering of someone we love. Our intense desire to help is frustrated by an equally intense feeling of helplessness. When faced with the discomfort of this inner intensity, I have often jumped inside the circle of sorrow to stand next to my loved one. Although I experienced a momentary relief from feeling helpless, I was not very useful to them. The energy of my own sorrow, pity and worry stole my strength, weakened my words of encouragement, and made my presence a bit wobbly.
In French, the word for heart is ‘coeur’. It is the root of the word ‘courage’ and the verb ‘to encourage’. To encourage someone is to give them heart. I have discovered that the only way I can encourage another person is if my heart is strong. When I detach from my inner struggle and their sorrow, I can reclaim the wholeness of my heart and bring its strength to my loved ones. Then my words of encouragement and my presence are more powerful.
Through the journey of meditation, I am learning to stand next to my loved ones without stepping inside their sorrow. I am learning to give respectful space for the other person’s heart to beat at its own rate. My focus is on keeping my heart steady, calm and strong by connecting with my eternal nature of peace and love. This slight separation between my heart and theirs allows God’s energy to enter for healing.
As I strengthen spiritually by absorbing God’s love and power in silence, my presence brings soothing comfort and strength to others who are suffering. I have learned in Rajyoga that it is possible, over time, to become spiritually strong enough to be able to stand next to someone without absorbing their pain at all. As my pain heals, I have more energy to offer others in the form of encouragement and strength. When they feel this strength, they find the resources inside themselves to do what is needed to move forward.
Judy Johnson coordinates the activities of the Brahma Kumaris meditation centre in Atlantic Canada.
