“Ekla cholo re,” declared Tagore. Often, individuals who pursue unconventional paths or make major life changes find that they are not easily accepted, understood, or supported by their loved ones. However, there’s a downside. Although they sincerely believe that their newfound practices are a sure way to their freedom, it becomes terribly difficult for everyone around them to adjust!
In India, where spirituality has been a central aspect of life, one might assume that dreamers and seekers would face less resistance. However, this is not the case at all. Most Indian families are uncomfortable with their loved ones exploring paths that differ from their own.
Embarking on a spiritual journey can actually be a difficult and isolating experience, especially when faced with resistance from family and friends who don’t understand or support such a decision. This is a common experience for seekers. For instance, someone raised in a traditional Christian family, on deciding to become a Buddhist monk, will face a challenging transition. Their family may not understand why they would want to give up their previous way of life.
Often, the person’s new lifestyle change is as big a test for family and friends, as it is for them. Great battles are fought every single day! In fact, it’s rare for a seeker to find that family and friends are completely understanding and supportive of their quest for change. For example, someone who decides to quit a well-paying job to start their own business or pursue a personal dream, say, of becoming a writer or an artist, might end up facing skepticism or criticism from friends and family who do not see the value in such pursuits. One is challenged in trying to stay true to oneself and integrating these personal pursuits into one’s life without alienating loved ones.
Often, such a person’s food habits change. They no longer enjoy doing things they did before, they don’t associate with old friends, they avoid going to places they frequented earlier, and they no longer enjoy gossiping, etc. In fact, they often begin to look down upon their old lifestyle and the people still involved in that way of living!
Most people are unsupportive of anything they cannot fathom, especially if their own lifestyle is far removed from that which this individual adopts. For example, converting overnight to a vegan lifestyle in a family where eating non-vegetarian food is usual. The sudden decision may not be well-received by those who don’t agree with the seeker’s reasoning. Such personal decisions often alienate one’s old friends and even close family members who find it quite a nuisance to accommodate and incorporate this person’s food choices and strict meal timings in social and family gatherings.
Another example is of someone who decides to start dressing differently, or practicing chanting and sets up their personal temple or meditation corner. Such people find that their newfound interest and commitment to these practices aren’t understood or appreciated by their social circle. Old friends usually view these practices as unproductive or strange, leading to tensions and misunderstandings.
Swami Vivekananda grew up in a traditional family in Kolkata and was expected to follow in his family’s footsteps and become a lawyer. However, after meeting Ramakrishna, he was inspired to pursue a spiritual path instead. Despite his family’s disapproval and the challenges, he faced as a spiritual seeker in a society that valued material success, Vivekananda went on to become a spiritual leader and philosopher, founding the Ramakrishna Mission.
Jiddu Krishnamurti’s spiritual journey began at a young age when he was ‘discovered’ by the Theosophical Society and proclaimed as the new messiah. However, he eventually rejected this role and started out on his own path of self-discovery. This was not well-received by the orthodoxy, deeply rooted in traditions and customs. However, Krishnamurti remained steadfast, and over time, his ideas gained widespread acceptance and recognition. Today, he is considered one of the greatest spiritual teachers of the 20th century.
The spiritual teacher Ram Dass once said, “If you think you’re enlightened, go and spend a week with your family.” The challenges that one faces can actually become opportunities for growth and self-discovery. Thus, while the seeker’s journey is often challenging and lonely, it is also deeply rewarding and transformative. By embracing one’s dreams, even in the face of resistance, one is sure to discover a new level of freedom, clarity, and purpose in life. As Rumi wrote, “As you start to walk on the way, the way appears.”
Deepam Chatterjee is the author of The Millennial Yogi. He can be contacted on deepamchatterjee@yahoo.co.in