Setting healthy boundaries

Ancient wisdom talks of the importance of staying within set boundaries to keep us safe. In the story of Rama and Sita, a line was drawn around her and she was warned not to step over the line or there would be serious and dangerous consequences. However, she did step over, and was kidnapped and […]

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Setting healthy boundaries

Ancient wisdom talks of the importance of staying within set boundaries to keep us safe. In the story of Rama and Sita, a line was drawn around her and she was warned not to step over the line or there would be serious and dangerous consequences. However, she did step over, and was kidnapped and there began a whole new complicated story. In the Bible, the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah were to be destroyed because of the sinful lives of those who lived there. One family. Lot and his wife, were found to be virtuous, and so they were told to flee the city, but on no account to look back. Lot’s wife did look back, and she was turned into a pillar of salt. She ignored the boundary that was set for her safety.
Our own lives are full of situations and relationships that pull and push us in one direction or another, and it is often very difficult to know how to make the right decisions, and be able to listen to our conscience. Our conscience holds our inner self-regulating set of boundaries, and we only know if we have stepped over the boundary when we begin to feel uncomfortable about how we have behaved, even though at the time, it seemed the right thing to do. Our conscience will let us know if it was or it was not.

The way I live, that is the set of boundaries I hold within, become clear to others, providing I always live within them. When we are true to ourselves, we can be carefree because we know that what will happen will be for the best. Others will come to know what the bottom line is for me and will not even try to pull me across it, as it would be a waste of their time.
However, this takes great strength of character. It is difficult to stay within the boundaries I have set if my emotions are affected. I may want sympathy and may do something just to please others so that I get that sympathy, for example, divulging information that I should not. We may put someone else down to make ourselves look better than them to try to get praise or admiration. I may put others on a pedestal and fall under their influence and cross the boundaries of the principles I have established for my own life. If I am in an emotional state, it is very easy to be manipulated by others.

These kinds of relationships need to be handled with strength and love, without imposing or controlling. For this, great inner strength is needed, and that can only come from God, a connection with the Divine. In that connection comes strength and clarity, and the power of tolerance. Tolerance is important in keeping boundaries strong and healthy. We are going to need clarity and discernment in the very near future, because there are so many energies trying to manipulate us all, not least, the newly emerging artificial intelligence, AI. Many will not be able to discern what is true and what is not. If I can keep my dignity and hold on to my self-worth, and keep a deep connection with God, the Divine, I will have all the clarity and strength that I need.

 

Maureen Goodman is the
Programme Director for the Brahma Kumaris UK, and BK NGO representative to the United Nations in Vienna.

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