Releasing the habit of passing judgement

Each of us has two realities. One reality is based on what we see in the world around us, and the other reality is the internal reality of our thoughts and values. This inner reality is accumulated through many experiences, and some believe, through many lifetimes. We have become so accustomed to that reality that many of us feel that it is the only, the correct reality. Therefore, internally, we think ‘I am right – they are wrong’, and we judge our whole external world based on that. That means we are constantly maintaining an inner monologue of judgemental, critical comments on what others are doing.

Very often the motivation for this monologue is simply to feel secure. If I believe I am right then I have to nullify all other different opinions and behaviour, because otherwise I will have to question my own beliefs and values, and that is uncomfortable and destabilising. However, if I continue in this way, my world becomes smaller and smaller.

I become disconnected from others. The way to real security is to take the journey of discovery and connecting with my real self. In other words, we start to understand the inner core of the self. Not the outer layer which judges others from the standpoint of the ego, but the real inner self which holds no judgement, no criticism of the self or others because the true inner self is full of power.

The power that comes from real peace, love, happiness, wisdom, and strength – spiritual powers. Each one of us has a different story and that story forms our outer layer, but each one of us is intrinsically a being of peace, a spiritual being, a soul.

This inner self needs nurturing because the acquired thoughts and beliefs of living through our story are just that – acquired. They do not serve us well when we judge others, criticise others, label others. When we nurture this inner self, the core of our being, then we are able to see clearly and have the awareness that if I am powerful and peaceful, then everyone else is also a being of peace. I can stop criticising myself, I can stop judging others, I can stop being afraid. We become able to watch the self and see how we are behaving, and sometimes we will smile at how very unimportant our observations really are.

So, we turn our face inwards. The most powerful way of doing this is to practise meditation. It is the easiest way to experience these core qualities. However, when we stop meditating and return to our outer world, we return to the way we were thinking before. So not only do we need to practise meditation, but in our meditation we need to connect to a higher power, the highest power, the Supreme Being, God. This connection with the Divine helps us to see and experience the depth of the soul. It becomes real understanding rather than an intellectual exercise. It just requires attention and awareness and a pure desire to return to our true self. It is all down to just three steps; become introverted, connect to the Divine, and watch the transformation.

Samantha Fraser teaches Rajyoga with the Brahma Kumaris and is based at the Global Retreat Centre, Oxford, UK.