When we aim for self-improvement, to become a better person, we may take several steps, such as set a goal, identify the challenges on the way, and make a step-by-step plan to achieve our objective. There is a plethora of self-help books offering a wide range of advice on what to do and how to go about doing it. The volume and variety of recommendations and instructions can be confusing, and lead one to believe that becoming a better person is a complicated task.
Is that really so? Is there a simple way by which we can improve the quality of our thoughts, attitude, and behaviour? Indeed there is such a way – just focus on the good in the self and others.
While going about our daily tasks and coming in contact with other people, we can have good wishes from the heart for everyone and receive good wishes from them. No matter what others are like, even if their feelings for us are not so nice, we can transform them into good wishes if we have the aim that I have to be a force for good and everyone should feel goodwill radiating from me.
If we remember that the one who has ill feeling for us is in the grip of a weakness, we would not have a negative attitude towards them. Someone who is too weak to overcome their defects and is controlled by them deserves understanding and support to help them conquer their weaknesses, not censure or rejection. When we keep this in mind, we would naturally have empathy and try to help them.
We just need to be committed to one thing: In our thoughts, words, and behaviour, we have to give good wishes and receive the same. If adverse thoughts arise for anyone, we can remember what our duty is. What do the firemen do when they see a fire? They know that they are the ones who put out fires. They do not blame others for starting the fire and leave them to their fate. In the same way, if someone does something that we do not like, because they are under the influence of a weakness, can we remember our task: To douse the fire of negativity, and offer cooperation and good wishes?
We will encounter challenging people and situations as long as we live, and the challenges will be of various kinds, with a different reason behind each one. If we get stuck on the problems and agonise over them, life can become miserable. On the other hand, if we focus on the possible solutions, the tests will feel like a game and we will enjoy overcoming them. We might have to tolerate a few things, but if we are determined to move ahead, we will find a way out.
Being solution-oriented helps us rise above petty issues, see the larger picture, and cooperate and reconcile differences. It fosters trust and a common sense of purpose, encouraging people to work towards a shared goal.
It is the law of karma that good begets good. If we plant flowers, that is what we will receive. Seeing the good in the self and others, and sharing and encouraging it, is the key to creating a happy future.
B.K. Sheilu is a Rajyoga teacher at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan.
