Among those who aim for self-improvement, some are able to bring about positive change in the self easily and quickly, while others think about it, make plans, but their old habits, weaknesses, and challenges get in the way and dampen their enthusiasm. Then there are those who lack courage for the task, so they go about it tepidly and find little success.
Self-improvement is not a goal that concerns just our individual life—it is also the foundation of our efforts to help others. Only one who has trodden this path can show others the way. If we merely theorise about it, that will not neither help us nor inspire anyone else. But when we speak from experience, our attitude, vibrations, and words carry conviction and authority, which convince others.
Very often self-improvement does not take place at all or to the desired extent because there is no honest realisation that one needs to change certain things within the self. Such realisation is the basis of bringing about permanent change. Realisation makes clear where we have gone wrong, the harm that has done to us, and what we need to change. It brings urgency and seriousness to our efforts towards self-improvement. Without realisation we may change temporarily because of the influence of something we may have heard, read or seen, but once that influence wears off, we will revert to our old ways. Realisation brings about easy and lasting transformation.
For fast and lasting progress, we first need to experience the elevated state that we wish to achieve—it may be being more compassionate, peaceful, or loving. Just thinking or speaking about it does not bring about change. But practising that change, becoming it—not just wishing to do so—brings experiences and results that carry us forward. This kind of realisation elevates and clarifies the mind, which then makes it easier to realise one’s weaknesses.
Self-improvement is not just overcoming one’s weaknesses; it is also about the way we deal with people and situations. In this context, realisation of two things is needed: of one’s own shortcomings, and of the situation, the desires and feelings in the minds of those involved in the situation, including their weaknesses or any influence they might be under. When we know the reason for a particular situation, we can understand what attitude, feelings and thoughts we need to have to resolve it. Recognising and understanding the desires of others and engaging with them accordingly becomes the basis of our own progress as it improves our maturity and brings us the blessings of others.
There is one more type of realisation—we know that something we have done was not right, our conscience tells us so, but in order to save our reputation and status we ignore the inner voice. This is a grave mistake. We may think, “What do others know? Such things happen all the time….” Persisting on this path stops our progress.
B.K. Surya is a Rajyoga teacher at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan.