Situations exist outside us but they become a part of our consciousness and start to influence our behaviour when we think about them again and again. We meet many people during the course of a day. If we want, we can find something to criticise in each one of them. After all, no one is perfect. But if we make critical comments about others in our mind, such as, ‘He is like this’, ‘She will never improve’, ‘She was born this way’, we are filling negativity inside ourselves. We believe we are right to think that way—‘They are like that, so what am I supposed to think?’ This is where spirituality comes in. Spirituality teaches us that whatever we think eventually becomes a part of us. Every thought creates a vibration, which affects our state of mind. If we dwell on the defects of other people, the defects no longer remain ‘theirs’—they become a part of us. If I repeatedly think about someone, ‘She is so irritating’, I am really creating a habit of getting irritated.We can decide to make a conscious effort to note good qualities in everyone we meet—they may be humble, sincere, hard-working, or punctual. If we think about such qualities, they create positive, healthy vibrations, and our state of mind improves. The better the quality of our thoughts, the stronger the mind becomes. But we hold on to hurtful, unpleasant memories, fill our mind with them, and then start to believe that the world is not nice… people are not good to me…. We then relate to people on the basis of this belief. This is the result of what we have chosen to store in the mind.Suppose someone is rude to me. I can either keep thinking about how nasty they were, how they insulted me… or I can tell myself that they were probably not in their best state of mind, or were upset about something, which is why they behaved that way. Then I can dismiss the whole thing from the mind and get on with my life. But if I keep agonising over it, magnifying the incident by replaying it in my mind over and over again, I will become hostage to the negative feelings of hurt, anger, and sorrow I am creating. Regular practice of meditation gives us the power to choose the right thought in every situation. When we use that power, we can be stable and happy, always.
B.K. Shivani is a well-known motivational speaker and Rajyoga teacher.
Spirituality teaches us that whatever we think eventually becomes a part of us. Every thought creates a vibration, which affects our state of mind. If we dwell on the defects of other people, the defects no longer remain ‘theirs’—they become a part of us.
