‘When you get the damned hurt, use it – don’t cheat with it’

The urge to tell a story is a basic instinct. However, every story does not necessarily interest or inspire. This holds true especially, for memoirs. Earnest Hemingway was prophetic when he wrote, “Forget your personal tragedy. We are all bitched from the start and you especially have to be hurt like hell before you can write seriously. But when you get the damned hurt, use it— don’t cheat with it.” Neena Gupta’s autobiography ‘Sach Kahun Toh’ complies with it a hundred percent. From its captivating cover to its candid content, the two-time National award-winning actor, film-maker, producer and television personality, Gupta as a first-time writer is refreshing.

The book is written with a sense of purpose and it appeals at several levels. It is about a middle class dilli ki ladki, whose non-conforming temperament compasses her journey in life. Spread across five parts, the actor lays bare with discretion and dignity her choices, bad and bold decisions, familial secrets and circumstances that impacted her work and being. Written simply with emphasis on the need to express earnestly, Gupta constructs an interactive narrative wherein her reader is treated with respect, maturity and a certain degree of warmth. It is the informal and utterly relatable tenor of the story that engages attention and tugs the heartstrings, in places.

‘Sach Kahun Toh’ chronologically details Gupta’s struggles and tribulations, with personal trivia puckered into the larger canvas of how she did what she did, when, where and why. While reading about her relationships and marriages, it becomes evident that ‘reality is largely negotiable’. The free-flowing manner of sharing stuff, her unabashed admittance of naivety (occasionally bordering on foolishness) and at the same time, of realization and humility leaves you admiring her as a woman of substance. Whether it was her childhood enveloped in modest living, dotted with constrained behavior or the Janaki Devi College and National School of Drama days filled with confusion and excitement, Gupta refused to bow down to norms.

Always confident of her talent, repeatedly gearing herself with an attitude to look-up, even when she put herself through the toughest role— of being an unwed mother, are the non-negotiables the book highlights and mentors about. Her vehement stance to avoid including salacious gossip as part of the re-telling, elevates her as a writer who is serious and responsible while scrutinizing the past.  In a ruthlessly competitive industry, Gupta has had to meander through a rugged trajectory, armoured with fortitude that she inherited from her strict and pragmatic mother.

‘Sach Kahun Toh’ conveys that living life and feeling it are two separate things. That ‘If you stress-test the boundaries and experiment with the “impossibles,” you’ll quickly discover that most limitations are a fragile collection of socially reinforced rules you can choose to break at any time.’ That in writing her story Neena Gupta has delved into the deepest recesses of her mind, faced old fears and relived some particularly difficult moments. The actress, who continues to create curiosity with her on-screen presence, wears the recently acquired credentials of being an author, with aplomb and appreciation.