Years seem to have fled by before I could sit in my own company. I am by myself and have declutched from the world of all relationships, even with my own usual self. The quiet calm of the evening is unburdening my soul as the soft warm breeze from the valley below gently changes its mood to a cool one as the sun glides behind the mountain cliff. How splendid is the light, untouched by a single cloud or bird flitting across it. Nearer me I hear the twitter of the homing birds as they prepare to nestle snugly with their fledglings for the night. The gnarled trees have a bare beauty at this time of the year. They are all unleafing and some are laid quite bare with just a few lonely dry leaves still clinging on , unwilling they seem to depart from one who for a whole year gushed the sap of his being through their veins, nurturing them while he held them close to his bosom!
Far down in the valley below are temples with their saffron flags a flutter in the breeze. The conch and the tinkling of temple bells beckon the faithful to thank the Lord for this beautiful day. To thank Him for the health of this body, the nutritional food that Mother Earth provides and the garments that cover our nakedness! How mindlessly we consume the gift of the life-giving air that we breathe, the vital air that sustains us throughout life, even when in sound sleep we know not that we breathe! Do we ever stop by and wonder at the crystal water of the dancing streams that He provides! No, we are so obsessed by social media’s constant beeps to even enjoy consciously a baleful of fresh air! We live our lives in total disregard and unthankfulness for our blessings till some disease targets us and then the laws of nature turn us into lunch for the worms and dinner for the plants! Have we lived or have we just existed? Does it ever occur to us in this feverish rush of “I want” that ‘why’ do we want what we want? The joy of the race is yours to stay, the victory in time will stale. We run the race always with an eye on who is behind us and who has outstripped us. Cannot we enjoy the wind in our faces as we run, or the sunlight bathing us with its healthy warmth? And as we run, why don’t our hearts brim over with joy of each stride of a strong muscle and each baleful of oxygen rich air that our lungs draw in?
The music of the leaves in the trees, the glistening new copper colour of fresh sprouts, we fail to see it all! Self seeking individualistic values hold us by the throat and pin us down to the dark caves of self absorption. Ever dissatisfied we live in a barren wasteland with hearts shrivelled up on a measly diet of anxiety, neurosis and fear. Negativities gnaw at our very vitals rendering us incapable of unforced laughter. Even laughter is with some effort!
Lack of time is a common excuse. Have you ever met a lover who complains of lack of time to remember his beloved? Is not the thought of the beloved a constant undercurrent through every activity pursued through the day? The lover is joyous, even through the sick hurry of the work a day world. Let us be that lover of Him who cradles us constantly. If one is in tune with the overflowing beauty of this world that is His grace and expression, one feels as though one walks on air! The joy of self expansion that the Sufi saints sing about lifts their hearts from the mundane limited self to a realm with no borders. Total selflessness is the magic potion and the mystic, drunk on this unravelling joy, dances in total harmony with the beloved.
The ever dissatisfied individuality in us never sees the ‘carpet of flowers strewn at our feet,’ as Sharda Natarajan says, ‘but peer through binoculars at some misty far off flower fields’. Then we reach those far off flower fields with much effort, and of course the flowers should naturally bliss us out, but, ‘we still have the binoculars and turn them to a third landscape that we deem more beautiful.’ Thus we chase dreams all our lives for a future that never dawns, for when you have walked up to the horizon it is already far beyond!
Happiness is here and now, and in the very house and office that the lord has placed you in. It is not the absence of shackles put on you by others but an unshackling from our own chains. The casting aside the ‘manacles of the mind’ is the only way to taste freedom. You are chasing a non-entity when you chase the future. You create a movie monster and breathe life into it and then fear the Frankenstein who threatens to devour you. You are the creator of your very own suicide bombers, who devastate your perfectly lovely present.
It is Suzuki who said, “All the shadows of the universe cannot put out the light of one candle… Foolish are they who turn their backs on the light and argue about the nature of the shadows in front.” So, if one wants the shadows to fall behind, one has to always face the sun, imbibe it’s golden luminosity and warmth and distribute them as selflessly and universally as he does.
The sound of the gong in the valley below is so pristine and so whole that it reverberates as an ever expanding peace in my soul. I could sit here for hours. As darkness envelopes the hill ,small dim lights begin to twinkle. A few stars now peep out from above to wink at me and nudge me to return to the hotel. It’s time.
The writer is president, Chinmaya Mission, Delhi.