Most diseases are chronic rather than acute. Chronic means that there is no magic pill to cure the symptoms. Chronic diseases are a call of the body, in the form of a whisper or a scream, to the inner being, the soul. Chronic diseases are psychosomatic, meaning there is an imbalance between body and soul. A part of the cause is physical, in which the complaints are visible and can be measured or examined. The other part of the cause is not physical, because thoughts and emotions cannot be seen or measured, but can only be felt and experienced. The complaints of the body are calling for our attention.
A great many families are dysfunctional. Many of us have childhood experiences in which pain was felt, because what was needed (being seen, valued, appreciated, loved, emotionally taken care of) was not available. This does not mean we all have had bad parents or are victims. When a child develops in a womb, the part of the brain that is developed first is the survival brain that activates the fight, flight or freeze response. Because of being dependent on caretakers as a child, when we needed something that was not available, a stress reaction was activated. As a result of that stress reaction and for protection from feeling hurt, we develop false beliefs: ‘I am not good enough’, or ‘I am not lovable.’ Those thoughts and beliefs give rise to chronic tension in the body.
We construct survival mechanisms which remain active in adult life. Any random person or situation can trigger one of these mechanisms, and we become angry, feel anxiety or panic, or we start pleasing or appeasing others. Self-destructive behaviour, such as drinking, gambling, overeating, and developing an inability to make decisions or form or maintain healthy relationships, can be an effect of chronic stress.
All painful childhood memories are stored in the subconscious memory and have an impact on how we react to people and situations. The mechanisms that were constructed will erupt when triggered.
Healing is not a cognitive process. When a doctor or therapist asks what childhood experience is behind our reactions, it may be impossible to answer. When we practise meditation and mindfulness, we become more aware of our inner world. Meditation helps us to connect to the pain or tension in the body, and observe the emotion that is revealed, and a space for healing will emerge.
Healing means allowing oneself to feel all emotions that are brought up by others. Other people are not in charge of soothing or attuning to our emotions. As we learn to regulate the nervous system within and feel all the emotions that come up, we get a clearer idea of what we want and are able to communicate those needs.
Healing means restoring the relationship with the self. This does not mean that all diseases can be cured or that you are failing when the body becomes ill. Healing is a subtle process. Healing means acknowledging who you are, and learning to take responsibility for your own physical, spiritual, mental, emotional and social health. Being the one responsible for building a healthy relationship with the self and becoming clear about what you need, including from relationships with others.
When we meditate, we connect to ourselves, and to the source, the Supreme being. When we rediscover who we really are and are filled with pure energy during meditation, we are able to heal ourselves from painful past experiences.
Dr. Judith M. Kocken MD, PhD, is a paediatrician and a paediatric gastroenterologist. A pioneer in holistic healthcare, she studies and practises Rajyoga with the Brahma Kumaris in The Netherlands.
When we rediscover who we really are and are filled with pure energy during meditation, we are able to heal ourselves from painful past experiences.