Introspection is an important step in the process of self-improvement. When we turn our attention inwards, observe the kind of thoughts and feelings we have, identify where they are coming from — is it ego, jealousy, fear, or a critical nature — and address the cause, we are able to grow spiritually.
However, a common mistake many make is to get stuck on their weaknesses. They are sincere and well-meaning individuals who wish to become the best they can be. With this lofty goal in mind, they look inside themselves, and what they discover leaves them depressed. Some are alarmed to find that there is a lot that needs to be discarded or changed. “I am so bad, I have all these defects”, they think. Instead of looking towards their goal, they keep thinking of how far they are from it.
By brooding on their weaknesses and identifying with them, they reinforce them and become weaker, just as someone who keeps complaining about his illness prolongs it. “I am not that strong”, “Perhaps I am destined to be lowly”, “I am not sure if I will make it”. Such thoughts pull them down further.
The key is not to dwell on our shortcomings. What we think, we become. We wish to remove our flaws, but remembering them again and again, often in a misplaced effort to “be honest with the self”, is not the way to do it. When we focus only on our dark side and tell ourselves, “I am like this”, the stronger that belief is imprinted on our consciousness, which then influences our thoughts and actions. It is like digging ourselves deeper into a hole.
Recognising the weakness for what it is — an acquired flaw that is unnatural to us — gives us the right perspective, enabling us to distance ourselves from it. That in turn leads to the belief that we can overcome it. This gives us strength and, eventually, victory.
A defect is akin to darkness, and you do not remove darkness by agonising over it — you just bring in light. The light of truth, courage, and faith in God dispels the darkness within the soul. When we constantly remain in this light, all darkness vanishes from our life. Where there is light, darkness cannot exist.
B.K. Sheilu is a Rajyoga teacher at the Brahma Kumaris headquarters in Mount Abu, Rajasthan.