Where there is spiritual love, we see each other as souls and remember God, the Father of all souls. But when love is without spiritual awareness, there are expectations, and they bring sorrow. Expectations even break relationships, because of, “I didn’t know you were like this,” “I didn’t expect this from you”, and so on.
Where love is spiritual, we do not focus on the other person’s defects. We may be aware of the defects, but we share love unconditionally so that the other person is able to overcome their weaknesses. Gossiping about someone’s weaknesses can cause a lot of hurt even if there is love in the relationship. Spirituality teaches us to be kind, loving and sweet. If we are sweet, we remain happy and share that happiness with others. One sign of true love is that you do not want to see anyone unhappy.
When we remember that we are souls, children of God, we can begin to experience a relationship with Him and feel His love, care and protection. This experience starts a healing process that removes feelings of hurt that have sometimes been carried since childhood.
People live with a lot of sorrow, some of which has gone deep inside them. But once you start seeing yourself as a child of God and experience His love, you gradually forget those sorrows. It is like getting a new life, a new childhood, where nothing is lacking because you get more than you expect. God sees in you greatness that you cannot see yourself. This gives a boost to your confidence and self-esteem.
Children run to their parents when they face something they cannot deal with. Just as we have physical parents, God is the parent of the soul, so one can turn to Him in any difficulty and experience His help. But this will happen only when you have developed a loveful relationship with Him.
We also have a habit of carrying responsibilities and feeling burdened by them: “I have children, I have to take care of them”. Children do not fret like this. When we consider ourselves to be children of God and give our worries to Him, we can be carefree and at the same time learn from our experience of God’s help.
God takes away our grief and teaches us not to give sorrow to anyone, but many people are in the habit of taking sorrow. Someone criticises you and you get upset. That person may have criticised you just once, but you think about it again and again, upsetting yourself each time. So, who upset you more, you or the other person? The more you think about such things, the more the sorrow multiplies, and in this way, we hurt ourselves the most.
This is why it is important to forgive and forget. By this we are not doing the other person a favour; we are being merciful to the self. When I do not like something, why do I have to hold on to it by thinking about it again and again?
So, divine love, forgiveness and discipline, in my thoughts, enable healing to take place. This liberates me from past hurts and frees me from the habit of taking sorrow from circumstances or other people’s behaviour.
Excerpt from a talk given in Mount Abu.
B.K. Mohini is the director of the Brahma Kumaris’ services in the Americas.