Why do bad things happen in our lives? This is a question that surely everyone has asked sometime in their life. We all have experienced problems and hardships in our lives some time or the other. Maybe some of us are going through a crisis at this very moment. Maybe it is related to health, finance, legal issues, relationships or something else. There are myriads of situations that we all have to face in this physical world.
If you are facing a problem or crisis in your life and do not know what to do, the first thing I will say to you is: You are not alone! No matter how alone you think you are.
When ‘bad’ things happen in our lives, the first question that comes to mind is: Why me? Why has this happened to me? The right question to ask is: Why not me? When you ask this question, you are already on the path to overcome the problem. First things first, please know that everybody in life goes through different problems. Therefore, you are not alone! No matter what problem you are facing in your life currently, someone has faced it before.
What good does it do to ask yourself why? The answer you’ll get is: I’m unlucky. That answer gets you nowhere. The only thing that will come out of that is self-pity, something that accomplishes absolutely nothing. You can feel sorry about yourself, or deal head-on with the problem at hand.
Better questions to ask are: What am I going to do about it?
How am I going to solve these problems that I have? What strategies am I going to employ? What knowledge do I have to arm myself with? The answers to those questions will get you somewhere.
To effectively deal with any problem, you first have to ask the right questions.
Many circumstances in life are beyond our control but what is in our control is our attitude and approach and frame of mind towards these difficult circumstances. We should never get caught in an endless pit of self-pity which keeps getting deeper and deeper. If you can change a situation change it, if you cannot change it then accept it and move on towards something better.
Each hardship that life brings is also an opportunity to learn and grow and become stronger. Facing the challenge and the struggle is a way towards success. There is a story about a chrysalis that was still in its cocoon and was trying to break out and become a butterfly. So, it started to kick the boundary of the cocoon and tried to break out.
There was a man nearby who was observing this happening and felt pity for it and broke the cocoon for it. The man thought he did a great service to it. But little did he know that he would actually cause the early demise of the butterfly. How? In the natural course of things, the chrysalis’ muscles become strong by kicking through the cocoon surface and it is this strength that allows them to fly. Since in this case the man helped, the butterfly did not gain enough strength to fly and therefore died of starvation. What is the moral of the story?
Hardships in life need to be endured for us to become strong.
Sometimes being too sweet or always wanting sweetness will end up giving you diabetes. Every hardship in life is like a workout in the gym for the soul. It is the resistance of weights that gives strength to physical muscles and likewise it is the resistance to problems by working through them that gives strength to the soul.
We need to at times also ‘let go and let God’. Pray over the problem and hand it over to God and keep striving towards moving towards the solution. When we say ‘let go and let God’ this doesn’t mean become passive. It means hand over your worries and troubled mind to the Divine Power and trust that God will help you towards a solution by clearing your mind and showing you the path forward—even though the path may have many bends, curves, thorns and rocks. But with resilience and persistence you will overcome the problem at hand and grow as a person. Running away from problems never solves them.
Regardless of your situation, know that we all have cycles in life. One season of going down, another season will come when we will rise up and see the best in life. Keep your faith. What weighs you down today, you will develop resilience through it, and grow in strength.
Bad things occur to teach us what is good for us. Each and every situation in everyone’s life is a lesson. These lessons might be materialistic or nonmaterialistic but both of them give us an opportunity to learn.
So instead of thinking why ‘it’ happens, think what is the best and most important point that you can learn from that situation.
One thing for sure, bad things occur in everyone’s life but the solution is to be strong internally.
It is easy to get caught up in the misfortunes of our lives and as one thing goes wrong followed by another and another it is natural to assume that fate has somehow targeted us specifically. Everything takes a bit of work and practice and changing our bad luck into good is no different. Sometimes it is a case of negativity breeding negativity or focusing so much on the bad we miss opportunities for good to squeeze in. You have to actively and consciously look for happy things no matter how small they seem. Start with noticing blue skies, a pretty sunrise, a majestic waterfall, children playing together or anything that is good in life. Put forth the effort to smile at others. When you get that parking spot, or fast checkout line, or green light give yourself an instant mini-celebration. As you get into the habit you will begin to notice you indeed have more to celebrate.
Pay attention to all the good moments in life that are always interspersed between any number of difficult moments. It is in these moments that we need to be thankful and also resolve that we will overcome all challenges and difficulties and succeed with our purpose in life.
Good luck and keep smiling. You are never alone.
Prashant Solomon is a Delhi-based author and businessman.