Hatred (ghrna in Sanskrit) or an intention of malaise against someone is a huge barrier in our spiritual journey toward perfection and among the most difficult emotions to eliminate. Swami Sivananda Saraswati (1887-1963, a renowned yoga teacher) has described three stages of hatred. This emotion usually starts with prejudice or forming a negative opinion about someone without having accurate facts or reasonable reasoning. Often this happens because of a misunderstanding, an unchecked ego, an inability to think carefully and jump to a hasty conclusion, or a habit. Under prejudice, the mind cannot think rationally or exercise problem-solving abilities. For example, a person may have a prejudice against a certain religion. Under that prejudice, the person will just paint everyone from that religion as evil and lose objectivity. They will not be able to appreciate even the good aspects of that religion.
Prejudice often leads to the second stage of hatred which is intolerance whereby the person is unable to accept the viewpoint or opinion of another person. This is characterized by narrow-minded behavior and becomes a hindrance in interpersonal relationships as well as spiritual growth. When intolerance is unchecked, it leads to the final stage of hatred, insolence. An insolent person has free-floating hostility, is rude, disrespectful, and mistreats others. These three stages of hatred are a blockade in our spiritual growth and need to be eliminated.
How do we eliminate hatred in our lives? Buddha said, “Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is an eternal rule.” Love is among a powerful emotion that can conquer the world. When we love someone, in essence, we are only loving ourselves. Love is a feeling of affection. When we replace hatred with love, the feelings of prejudice, intolerance, and insolence die. We must start with our thoughts. If even an iota of prejudice sets into our mind, we must start blessing that person and imagining that the person is our friend and not an enemy. There is no point in having malice toward anyone in the short journey that we have on this planet. The positive thought wave of blessing that we generate fosters harmony in both our minds and, by reflection, on the other person in their mind. Oftentimes, we just think of the offenses that the other person has committed against us and keep on magnifying those by repeatedly thinking about them. This leads to the buildup of hatred instead of its elimination. Hence, we must use the power of our thoughts to sublime the mind repeatedly whenever prejudice raises its head.
Next, after our thoughts come our words. The words we chose are representative of our thoughts and include prejudices. We may utter words that we may regret or those that we do not mean. Hence, we must not use any negative words against anyone, especially the person with whom we are prejudiced. This must be practiced even in the absence of that person and our close friends or family.
Finally, our actions should be free of hatred. This can be achieved by selfless service in which we perform our duties with joy and do not expect anything in return from anyone. We should be willing to serve even those who we imagine have transgressed against us. In this systematic way, hatred can be eliminated in our lives which will be a boon for everyone around us including ourselves.
Dr. Manoj Sharma is a Professor and Chair of the Department of Social and Behavioral Health at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, USA. He is an avid practitioner of Kundalini Yoga.