In the last six months, I have attended four national conferences on plastic surgery and aesthetic sciences- an exemplification of ‘overdose’. I could have attended one every fortnight- there were so many of them on varying topics. A few days ago, a colleague of mine said in jest, ‘Someday, there will be separate conferences on left hand and right hand!’ Since I needed ‘masala’ for penning down the article on conferences, I observed the delegates and the organizers with the vigilance of a jasoos.
A conference is defined in the dictionaries as a formal meeting of people with a shared interest. But there is a twisted definition too- it is an event where we eat, drink and be merry in the guise of academics. The truth is somewhere in-between. Many delegates do listen to the talks with the focus level of the Kota classrooms. But they may have to bear with the ‘mikers’- the speakers who hold on to the mike after the end of stipulated time despite warnings from the alarm bells and the chairpersons. Sometimes, the presentation finishes well in time, but the question answer session gets stretched- like an argument between semi-compatible spouses.
However, if a breakaway session is being held in a smaller hall, the speaker may face a vexatious situation- miniscule audience or even a no show. Once, I was a witness to such a situation. The witty speaker began his talk with, ‘Respected chairpersons and empty chairs!’ However, soon afterwards, the organizers, including myself, coaxed or rather entreated a few delegates to sit in the hall. The organizing teams could take a cue from the political parties and have some fake delegates ready- just in case.
I have a few friends who are in the category of ‘conference friends’. I can locate them easily them without having to make a phone call. The ‘receivers’ are the ones who listen to the talks and are met during lunch & dinner time. The ‘stallers’ are found roaming around the stalls of the trade exhibition. The ‘outliers’ come to conferences purely for socializing and hover around the tea and coffee counters. The ‘bunkers’ are a special category. After marking their presence at the registration counter, they disappear, only to show up on the last day.
If some delegate talks with affability which is out of proportion to the proximity with you, he or she is likely to stand for elections for the office bearer of the organization in future. The favourite part of a conference for most delegates is the elections. The lobbying and the canvassing charges up the ‘mahaul’. To keep the organizers on their toes, there are delegates who get nicknamed as fufa ji or fufad ji- they get upset over issues as minor as someone staring at them. Of course, a few lacunae are there in every conference. Some organizers feel that conducting of a conference is even tougher than the marriage of one’s daughter.
At the end of every conference, I say to myself, ‘Enough is enough. I am not attending any conference for at least six months.’ Then, I get invited by the organizers of a future conference to deliver a talk or conduct a workshop. Also, I often bump into a stall wherein the registration of the next conference is offered at a discount as an early bird offer.
At a conference, do gain knowledge and expertise but don’t ignore the social animal in you!
