Being seriously light starts with the heart. Our hearts are in a very delicate state because on the one hand the world is becoming increasingly violent, and on the other we have developed an immense capacity to absorb suffering, which has made our hearts almost unbearably heavy. We need to cleanse and heal our hearts, and to do this we need to take ourselves seriously, because until we take the time to understand our own suffering, we will be unable to have true compassion for others in suffering. If we continue to live with the pain in our hearts and keep absorbing more and more hurt, then all of this will be turned outwards towards others.
We hold on to deep feelings in the heart for decades. Sadness, shame, regret, all linger and weigh us down and will continue to do so until we find a way to reconcile, forgive and release, that is, let go of it all. We need to find the roots of our sorrow and recognise how we hold on to the past within our subconscious. Within a groove in our subconscious, we not only hold the events that create pain, but also the feelings and patterns of thinking that we have developed in the face of the events, the trauma, that remains unresolved. These patterns and feelings are then triggered by the different scenes that we face in the present, prolonging our suffering.
So, first we must begin an inner dialogue with the self to discover and understand what we are really feeling. Otherwise, we either bury our head in the sand, in denial, or find ourselves trapped or just ignore and sweep our feelings under the carpet. We can only observe without judgement to deeply understand what we are truly feeling, in silence. We need to understand that we are pure consciousness, not the physical body. When we raise our consciousness to this level, not just intellectually, but through a real experience in silence, we can see not only what needs to change, but also our own goodness, and have compassion for the self. This is being spiritually awake. Being spiritually awake requires that we take responsibility for our own suffering. The ego will not allow us to take responsibility. Inner violence, confusion, waste thoughts, feelings of depletion, are all signs of a state of inner violence. This means that we cannot trust the thoughts that arise from this state of violence. We will just over-analyse, procrastinate, struggle to make decisions, and simply be unable to let go and move forward. Sometimes we may be too tired to face all this and that is okay, because at other times we will find the energy we need. Sometimes we are in denial, or we feel trapped and even if we can see what we need to do, we are unable to do it. Knowing the truth about what needs to be done, and not being able to do that, can create a great deal of pain.
There are three ways to explore our feelings and let go.
Access the inner peace of the soul, the self, in silence, in meditation.
Begin to recognise how truly wonderful the soul is, and embrace our own goodness.
Ask ourselves really good questions, as if we were meeting ourselves for the first time. A question like, ‘How long will this situation last?’ is not a good question. A good question would be ‘What is the significance for me in this situation?’.
Other good questions are:
What am I feeling? What am I afraid of?
What am I repeatedly choosing to ignore that I need to face?
What is it that I cannot change, and that I must simply accept?
What can I let go of – the desire to control an outcome, or to be right?
What is it that I fear and why? Where there is anger, there is always fear. It could be fear of humiliation, abandonment, rejection etc.
When we write down the answers to these kinds of questions, we can have great clarity and letting go becomes easy.
Tears may flow when we release a heavy burden, but only then is lightness possible. Four practices in a spiritual life make all of this possible. One is to meditate first thing in the morning for ten to fifteen minutes, possibly with a guided meditation to keep our thoughts in a high level of consciousness. This will change the way our day begins. After that, listen to or read words of spiritual wisdom. In the evening, join a group meditation for the power that brings.
Before sleep, take time to open our heart to the Supreme consciousness. The Divine, who is a source of unconditional benevolence, who never judges but loves and accepts us as we really are, because He is the only One who knows our whole story. In this way we surrender all the weight of the accumulated sorrow to the Divine. The help that we receive then, is incomparable.
Aashish Patel works in IT and coordinates Brahma Kumaris activities at the Lighthouse Retreat Centre, Worthing, UK.