In Indian folklore there is a lovely story which illustrates the consequences of being fiercely attached to something we feel to be essential.
The story is an instruction on how to catch a monkey. All that is needed is to put something that monkeys love to eat in the bottom of a narrow-necked jar. The monkey will reach in to get it, and will not be able to extract the food because the neck of the jar is too narrow for the monkey’s fist, only large enough for an empty hand. It is an excellent analogy of what we all do when we find something attractive and become attached, believing we cannot do without it.
In the Bhagavad Gita (The Song of God) the protagonist, Arjuna, is leading his army into battle but his foes include members of his family and many of his friends. He finds that his attachment to them brings doubt and confusion, and clouds his judgement to such an extent that he cannot fulfil his responsibility to his army and protect his kingdom. He is desperate for guidance and strength and calls out to God. God tells him to simply let go of all the attachments and the way will become clear.
This is a magnificent analogy of all of us. The battle is spiritual, and we are all Arjuna once we begin a spiritual journey. If we are not yet on that journey, then attachment to things and people seems normal, expected, sometimes even encouraged, because everyone is attached to objects and people. Forming attachments is how we make sense of our identity from childhood, we then identify with them, and project that identity into the world. This identity is in fact very fragile and is protected fiercely by the ego. This identity breaks down easily once the ego is challenged, by insult, criticism or ridicule, and the ego often responds with childish behaviour, reminiscent of a two-year-old in a tantrum. The hurt though is real and causes havoc with our emotions and this can really affect our physical health with repercussions in the body, especially in the gut.
So how would a spiritual master who had conquered attachment appear? They would be able to think straight and maintain stillness and calmness in difficult situations and when under attack. They would be clear-minded and have the wisdom to maintain an accurate perspective on life, based on who they really are, a being of spirit and not attached to the physical aspects of their life. It is in behaving in this way, that we are able to protect the self from emotional suffering, and have the capacity to be calm and loving and able to fulfil the most important spiritual message of all, which is to love one another. It is ego and pride that stops us from doing this and that is why we often see love and humility together, exuding a sense of selflessness.
We need to effect a balance between non-attachment and fulfilling our responsibilities with care and love. We can form an attachment with the real self, the loving, peaceful, stable, knowledgeable, wise being that we are. That is not a grasping attachment but one with a sense of powerful stability, like a tower, a tower of strength. This balance can be seen as a wheel on an axle; if it is too loose, it wobbles and if it is too tight, it will squeak and not run smoothly. So, we have to accept the lessons that come in front of us and see them as steppingstones to remaining permanently in the true state of mind. In this we must keep tolerance and compassion at the forefront, because everyone is doing the best they can on their own journey, on their own battlefield.
Al Hodgson works in electronics for musicians, media design, and IT. He is based at the Brahma Kumaris’ Global Retreat Centre, Oxfordshire, UK.