One way we can live life is to have everything happen according to our wishes. If that transpires, how do we feel? Peaceful, content, and happy. But how often does everything go according to our plan – there are no challenges, and everyone does exactly what they are told to do? Most people say they do not see a single day like that. And what happens when problems crop up? Do we get stressed, angry, depressed, or remain in control of ourselves and the situation?
Take this example: many people get irritated when they encounter heavy traffic on the roads. Is traffic inherently irritating or do we get annoyed by it? It is important to make the distinction, because situations all around us are changing, often unpredictably, and if we are hostage to them, then there will be little peace and happiness in our life.
The certainties we took for granted in an earlier age are fast vanishing. Not too long ago, people used to retire from the company they joined as a trainee. Once you got a job, it was more or less assured that you would work there until you retired. But now there is no such certitude. Even if you do well in your job, you may be laid off because the employer has decided to downsize and cut costs.
A cloud of uncertainty hangs over nearly every sphere of human life, including our health. Those in their twenties and thirties are being diagnosed with diseases that used to be seen only in senior citizens earlier.
Relationships are also taking unexpected turns all too often. In India, divorce used to be rare a few decades ago and was seen as a disaster in one’s life. The few cases that did occur, usually had major reasons behind them which were mitigating factors. But now couples decide to part ways simply because they find that they do not think alike. Can two people ever think exactly the same way?
These developments are often attributed to the increasing challenges and complexities of modern life. Going by the current trends, the problems will only increase in future. If I believe that I can be happy only when everything out there is to my liking, then what will be my mental and emotional state amidst the growing troubles?
Many people believe that it is natural to be stressed in difficult times – thoughts of fear and worry arise automatically, they say. Do thoughts emerge on their own in response to circumstances? If that were the case, every individual facing a particular situation would have the same kind of thoughts. But that does not happen, and we find different people reacting differently. That is because we choose what to think in every situation. The choice is made in a fraction of a second, and is determined by our perception, beliefs, and tendencies. If we want to be masters of our destiny, not its victims, this is the first thing we need to recognise: our thoughts are our choice and, in our control, not the result of what is happening around us. We can magnify a problem or shrink it with our perspective. As the nature of our thoughts, so are our feelings and vibrations. If I think that a challenge is no big deal, I can cope with it, it will be resolved, then I will feel confident and light. My vibes will reassure those around me and everyone will look at the matter with a positive frame of mind. On the other hand, if I panic and start thinking, “What will I do now”, “How can I deal with this”, “What will happen”, I can very well imagine how I am going to feel. Those around me will be similarly worried, everyone’s energy level will be low, and decisions made in that state of mind would not be the best. Fear and worry constrict our mental horizon and restrict our choices, often stopping us from taking steps that offer a way out of the problem.
The key to facing any challenge is a positive and strong mind. I cannot control other people or events in the world, but I can certainly choose how I respond. The practice of meditation helps a great deal in this. It improves our mental focus and clarity, allowing us to think better, see all the options before us, and take the best decision.
We may not have all the resources needed to deal with the issue at hand, and it may not be resolved entirely to our satisfaction, but a strong mind ensures that we are calm, stable, and even happy while dealing with it – we come away from it unscarred. And that is what matters, because problems come and go, but what remains for the rest of our lives are the memories, the experience, and the lessons from how we coped.
B.K. Shreya is a Brahma Kumaris Rajyoga teacher based in Mumbai.
