For many years, middle-class Indians have contrasted the benefits of aging in India vis a vis a developed country such as the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada or even Australia, nations that have a fairly large Indian diaspora. Those arguing in favour of returning to India when you became old spoke of the greater sense of comfort of being with your own people, of living in a culture where there is ingrained respect for the elderly among the young and of greater ‘family values’ as compared with western nations.
It was perfectly fine, even smart, so the argument went, to go to the West to earn money but when a person became older, retired from the active work force and had more leisure, surely, he or she would like to spend time with his relatives, with his children, and possibly with his grandchildren if the children were marred. Wasn’t it possible for an Indian immigrant to do all of this in the West? Not really. For one thing, exceptions apart, in the case of most first-generation Indian immigrants their relatives, including brothers, sisters and parents would all be in India. The children would have grown up with more individualistic Western attitudes. They would, of course, keep in touch with their parents, but not in the Indian way. Since they met their parents only once or twice a year those meeting could be accomplished even if the parents returned to India.
That particular issue was beautifully brought out fifteen years ago in an interaction between Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai with legendary TV host and anchor David Letterman. Mr Letterman asked Aishwarya, condescension and mockery evident in his tone, if she still lived with her parents to which our Ash shot back with: ‘It’s all right to live with your parents. It is also common in India that we don’t have to make appointments with our parents for dinner.’
Very many Westerners are also deeply attached to their parents, but the difference is in terms of the overall dominant culture. Now the PEW Research Centre may not have conducted any definitive surveys on this issue, but there is more than a kernel of truth to the assertion that while in India a large percentage of the overall population felt a special closeness to parents and vice versa, in the West the reverse of this was true.
It is true that even in India, elderly parents may be neglected, left to fend for themselves, and in some instances even abandoned. There has even been cinema made of the subject including the Amitabh Bachchan-Hema Malini starrer ‘Baghban’ that struck a deep chord with audiences. Charities have sprung up in India to assist elderly people who are not cared for by their children.
With India’s rise and the decline of the West, has the decision for an elderly couple to stay on in the West or return to India been affected in any manner? For the relatively well-to-do elderly in terms of medical services India has certainly become a more attractive destination. The speed and convenience with which lab tests can be taken and their results made available in India through Dr Lal PathLabs and others are only a dream in most of the world, including the West.
The US has been a world leader in cutting edge medical research and technology and continues to be so but access to medical services may no longer be so great for ordinary Americans, including Indians. In 2023, Time Magazine carried an article titled ‘The Coming Collapse of the US Health Care System.’ It spoke of a horrific situation, encountered all too frequently these days, where a person who had suffered a heart attack found that it took him 45 minutes to reach the hospital because two local hospitals had closed down due to lack of staff. Even at the hospital he finally arrived at, no bed was available due to massive overcrowding. The situation in the UK is worse if anything. As recently as June this year The Independent spoke of the potential risk of NHS patients facing intimate examinations in corridors and nights sleeping in chairs.
In those nations it can take months to get an appointment with a specialist whereas in India you can meet one, if need be, within hours. World class medical treatment and facilities are now available in India at a fraction of what it would cost through a private facility in the West. Medical monitoring in the case of critical illnesses, including cancer can be managed better in India and at a far lower cost. Insurance companies in the West are often not easily persuaded of the need for important tests. In some cases, proper monitoring can mean the difference between life and death. Again, for aging and ailing NRI Indians in the West the cost of engaging a full-time nurse or caregiver can be an impossible financial burden to bear. On the other hand, ayahs, nurses and caregivers are available in India at a fraction of the cost.
For millions of non-resident Indians viewing the situation from a medical perspective there could, therefore, in many instances, be potentially huge advantages in returning to the motherland.
There are other advantages of returning home. As you grow older you often have the urge to taste food that you ate in your childhood or youth before immigrating to the West. While it is true that Indian food is now a global cuisine, available in most parts of the world, it may yet not be easy to find a substitute for Haldiram’s Cholle Bhature, Coimbatore’s Elaneer Payasam or Lucknowi Biryani for that matter, depending on which part of the country you originally hailed from.
With age, satisfying the taste buds can matter more and more. Decades earlier the writer Somerset Maugham wrote presciently: ‘Old age has its pleasures, which though different, are not less than the pleasures of youth.’
Rajesh Talwar, the author of forty books spanning multiple genres, has served the United Nations for over two decades across three continents. His most recent book is titled ‘Harvard, Oxford and Cambridge: The Past, Present and Future of Excellence in Education.’
